Interest Rates Comic Strips - Page 3
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View 21 - 30 results for interest rates comic strips. Discover the best "Interest Rates" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 03, 2001's comic on:
Tags #save money, #firings, #consultants, #flossie, #highly technical work, #invitation, #shake hands, #greeting ritual, #brain overload, #raise rates, #over reacts, #dumb woman, #lost, #freak, #new hire
The Boss comes into Brian's cubicle and says, "I'm sorry, Brian. I have to fire all my consultants to save money." Brian turns to the Boss and asks, "Who will do your highly technical work?" The Boss brings in a woman and says to Brian, "You can transfer all your knowledge to Flossie." Brian holds out his hand to shake hands and says, "Hi." Flossie grips a pencil in her hand and says, "What's with the hand? Do you want to borrow my pencil?" Brian replies, "Um...no. This is an invitation to shake hands. It's a greeting ritual." Flossie grabs her head and shouts, "OUCH!! Brain overload!! It's too much information!!" Flossie puts both hands on either side of her head and repeats, "Purge! Purge! Purge!" Flossie stares at Brian blankly and says calmly, "Where am I?" Brian thinks to himself, "I need to raise my rates."
Share December 08, 2001's comic on:
Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk. Dogbert says, "You need to hire people who won't be a threat to you." Dogbert hands The Boss a pamphlet and says, "The Dogbert Recruiting Agency specializes in the placement of clueless people with bad hair." The Boss replies, "I don't know... They still look threatening." Dogbert says, "Perhaps I can interest you in our cadaver program."
Share July 19, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert says to The Boss, "How could our accounting firm not notice that we were heading for bankruptcy?" The Boss replies, "Maybe there was a conflict of interest with their T-shirt design business." Dogbert holds up a T-shirt in front of Ratbert and says, "This one says, 'I'm with bankrupt' and it has an arrow." Ratbert replies, "Hee Hee!"
Share January 13, 2003's comic on:
A man with hair pointy like antennae approaches The Boss and says, "Hello, potential client. I'm a consultick." The consultick continues, "I'll burrow into your corporate skin, suck your cash and never leave." The consultick continues, "My firm has a track record of huge consulting failures and conflicts of interest!" The Boss thinks, "No red flags."
Share April 28, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert approaches Carol and asks, "How many business cards should I order?" Carol responds, "It depends." Carol continues, "I use a complex formula based on your burn rate and your likelihood of getting downsized." Dilbert says, "I use about three per week." Carol replies, "You'll need three cards."
Share May 07, 2004's comic on:
Elbonian Call Center "We don't have that software in stock." "But may I interest you in a set of porcelain unicorn figurines that wear pants?" "Really? Wow. Your country has way too much money."
Share June 16, 2004's comic on:
Share December 14, 2004's comic on:
Alice: I didn't like the way he was looking at me. The Boss: "This isn't good." "He was the only stock analyst who had a "buy" recommendation on our company." Alice: "I think we're a "hold" now." The Boss: "Where will we find another one with so much conflict of interest??!"
Share December 15, 2004's comic on:
"I'll recommend your stock to the public, but first I need some conflicts of interest to make it worthwhile." "For example, I'll need to get your investment banking business." "Okay." "And you need to merge with my other client that makes poison waffles." "Okay."