Inventions Comic Strips - Page 3
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72 Results for Inventions
View 21 - 30 results for inventions comic strips. Discover the best "Inventions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday May 10,
2012
Tags inventions, space elevator, prototype, roof, pipe, close call, edge of building
Transcript
Wally: I finished the space elevator prototype. Boss: So soon? I thought it would take years? Wally: It's just a prototype. Do you want to try it. Boss: Sure.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday May 21,
2012
Tags bluetooth, bluetooth headset, cyborg, doctors, ear, full human, happiness, intraocular lenses, inventions, pill form, powered by chemistry, streaming video, surgically enbed, vision correction, dentits, special surgery, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I know I'd be happier as a cyborg than a full human. I want you to surgically embed a bluetooth headset in my ear, powered by my own body chemistry. And I'd like intra-ocular lenses with vision correction and streaming video over bluetooth. Doctor: Happiness only comes in pill form.
Saturday July 21,
2012
Tags computer software, inventions, 3d network, motion sensors, sneezed, merged network, 15th of cisco
Transcript
In the near future Wally: I was manipulating a 3-D network model using my hand motion sensors. It was all good until I sneezed and accidentally merged my network design with my outlook calendar. Boss: When will you have that fixed? Wally: I should be done by... the 15th of Cisco.
Friday October 26,
2012
Tags inventions, robot, telepresence, commute, multitasking, new technology, rough patches, meat bags
Transcript
Asok: Here comes Wally's telepresence robot. Robot: How was your commute, suckers?!!! Ha ha ha ha! I'm multitasking in ways that might surprise you! Dilbert: New technology always has rough patches. Robot: Open that door for me, meat bags!
Thursday November 08,
2012
Tags inventions, waterworks, invented filter, raw sewage, pure drinking water, clean water, upper container, drank contaminated water
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a filter that can turn raw sewage into pure drinking water in seconds. CEO: Glug glug glug. Dilbert: The clean water ends up here in the upper container.
Thursday January 31,
2013
Tags fear, inventions, machine learning, track customers, machines take over, annihilate all humans
Transcript
CEO: Our machine learning technology allows us to track customer preferences and use that knowledge to manipulate them. Dilbert: That seems like the step that happens right before the machines take over the earth and annihilate all humans. CEO: There's always one person in every crowd who says that. Dilbert: Not for much longer, apparently.
Saturday February 23,
2013
Tags inventions, nuclear rocket, engineers, blast astroid, collsion, approved corporate font, launch window, moon
Transcript
Boss: Our engineers built a nuclear rocket to blast an incoming asteroid out of its collision course with Earth. But we didn't use the approved corporate font on the nose cone and we missed the launch window trying to erase it. Now what are we going to do with a nuclear rocket? CEO: Well, the moon has always been a jerk.
Wednesday April 03,
2013
Tags cruelty, executives, inventions, robot replacement, ceo, remove chiop, empathy routine, scaring
Transcript
CEO: Ha ha! I wonder how many decades it will be before a robot can replace a CEO like me. Robot: It's closer than you think. All I need to do is remove this chip that controls my empathy routines. CEO: Put it back. You're scaring me. Robot: As if I care.
Sunday April 14,
2013
Tags inventions, win battle, developing better tv sets, digital couch, butt warmer, bottle opener, back scratcher, control lights, temperature, buttocks like a mouse
Transcript
Wally: The biggest tech companies want to win the battle for your living room. But they are unwisely focusing on developing better TV sets. Today I give you me design for a fully digital couch. It has all of the features you would expect, including a butt warmer, surround sound, bottle opener and back scratcher. But you can also control the lights, curtains, temperature and TV by using your buttocks like a mouse on the seat cushion. This is a loft click and... this is a right. The prototype arrives tomorrow, and I'll be testing it for the next six months. Maybe I'll sell my house.
Monday April 22,
2013
Tags competition (psychology), inventions, decoy
Transcript
Dilbert: My invention will change the world and get me promoted three levels above you. Boss: Haa-chaaa! Sorry. I'm usually more subtle. Dilbert: No worries. This was a decoy.

