Kill Comic Strips - Page 3
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188 Results for Kill
View 21 - 30 results for kill comic strips. Discover the best "Kill" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 11,
1992
Tags Dilbert, ginger, date, puppetitis, rare, disorder, puppet, weird
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I haven't dated much since I came down with puppetitis." The woman continues, "It's a rare disorder that makes your hand act like a puppet." Dilbert replies, "That's weird." The woman moves her hand like a puppet and says, "He hates us! We must kill him!" The woman says to her hand, "Not yet, Ginger!"
Saturday September 26,
1992
Tags Dogbert, photo, proof, completed, hit-man, contract, Dilbert, sitting, lifeless, stuffed, chair, looks, watching, technically, kill, prove, life
Transcript
Dogbert hands a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "Here is photo proof that I completed my hit-man contract on Dilbert." The man replies, "Excellent." Dogbert says, "Here he is, sitting lifeless in his stuffed chair." The man looks at the picture and says, "It looks like he's just watching television." Dogbert says, "Technically, my contract doesn't say I must kill him. It says I must 'prove he has no life.'"
Thursday October 08,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, government, general, kill, encounter, space, aliens, governments, track, record, budget, cutbacks, air, support
Transcript
Dilbert stands next to a man in a military uniform. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "The government sent a General to kill me for talking about my encounter with space aliens." Dilbert continues, "I was scared at first, but when you think about the government's track record, well, my odds are pretty good . . ." Dilbert continues, "Especially after all the budget cutbacks." The General says into a walkie-talkie radio, "Dang it! Where's my air support?!!"
Friday October 09,
1992
Tags Dogbert, general, government, u.f.o., encounters, Lose, faith, aliens, abducting, people, helpless, maintain, confidence, taxes, citizens
Transcript
Dogbert and a man in a military uniform sit at the table. Dogbert says, "General, I don't understand why the government is trying to cover up all the U.F.O. encounters." The General replies, "People would lose faith in their government if they knew aliens were abducting people and we were helpless to stop them." Dogbert says, "So, to maintain confidence in the government, you use our taxes to kill the citizens who find out?" The General asks, "Is that so bad?"
Wednesday November 11,
1992
Tags Dilbert, straw, loser, kill, abusive, coworker, floyd, blue, short, murderer, cheater
Transcript
Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "Everybody pick a straw. The loser has to kill our abusive co-worker, Floyd." Ted says, "Dilbert loses. He picked the blue straw." Dilbert says, "I thought the SHORT straw loses." Ted replies, "You're already a murderer; don't be a cheater too."
Thursday November 12,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, office, decide, kill, floyd, budget, manager, lover, killer
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the hassock. Dilbert says, "The guys in the office decided that somebody must kill Floyd the budget manager because he's so mean to us." Dilbert continues, "They want ME To kill him. But I can't do it. I'm a LOVER, not a killer." Dogbert replies, "Technically, you're neither." Dilbert asks, "Is that MY fault?"
Friday November 13,
1992
Tags Dilbert, floyd, co-wokers, fed, attitude, kill, dres, quarterly, accomplishment, report
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of Floyd's desk and says, "I've got to tell you, Floyd, that your co-workers are so fed up with your attitude that they asked me to . . . Uh . . . Kill you." Floyd screams, "What??!" Dilbert says, "Heh-heh . . . Of course there's no way I'd actually . . ." Floyd grabs his throat and says, "Erk! Mmph . . ." Floyd falls off his chair. Dilbert thinks, "I'm really going to have to dress this up on my quarterly accomplishment report."
Thursday December 10,
1992
Tags violence, Dilbert, Wally, jester, costume, the boss, task force, humor, creativity
Transcript
Wally enters wearing a court jester costume. Dilbert asks, "What's the story with the costume, Wally?" Wally replies, "The Boss put me on a special task force to see if humor increases creativity. I have to dress like this for a month." Dilbert asks, "Are you feeling more creative?" Wally replies, "Yeah. I've already thought of six hundred ways to kill him,"
Sunday August 22,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, outdoors, philosophy
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert walk in the park. Dilbert says, "The great thing about being human is that I'm superior to all other animals." Dogbert asks, "On what do you base that absurd conclusion?" Dilbert replies, "Humans have the ability to kill any other animal. Therefore, we are superior." Dogbert says, "You could be slaughtered by chipmunks if they ever decide to gang up." Dilbert responds, "But they wouldn't decide to do that. That's why humans are superior." Dilbert continues, "Chipmunks waste their days by eating nuts and playing instead of plotting ways to kill other species." They sit down under a tree. Dogbert says, "It's futile to argue with you." Dilbert replies, "Thank you." A chipmunk in the tree says, "I say we kill him. Is anybody with me?"
Thursday September 23,
1993
Transcript
Dilbert sits in a jailroom. Dilbert says, "I bet I've gone to jail more than the average law-abiding citizen." Dogbert replies, "I plan to defend you by proving your victim was a temp worker." Dilbert asks, "It's legal to kill a temp? Really??" Dogbert says, "Now all we need is a jury of your 'peers.'"


