Laziness Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

182 Results for Laziness

View 21 - 30 results for laziness comic strips. Discover the best "Laziness" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fraternization, friendship, laziness, wing man, for laziness, productivity retardant, high priority, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: And then I need you to... Asok: Excuse me. Wally is needed elsewhere to do something unspecified that has an implied high priority. Carol: Seriously? You have a wingman for laziness? Wally: I think of him as a productivity retardant.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustration, laziness, writing materials, pile, busget numbers, print again, think murder

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need your latest budget numbers. Dilbert: I put them on that pile yesterday. Boss: I don't have time to look through a pile. Go print it out again. Dilbert: How many times per day is it okay to think about murder? Wally: I'm up to six and it's only lunchtime.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags keep brain out, laziness, long and complicated, technical recommendation, thinking, make decision

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you read my technical recommendation? Boss: No. It's too long and complicated. Dilbert: How do you plan to make a decision without reading it? Boss: I'll use my gut. Dilbert: It's probably a good idea to keep your brain out of this. Boss: Quiet! It's saying something. Noise: GROWL.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, office workers, encouragement, career plans, misjudge, 5 year plan, legacy sytems, retirement, projects, protect heart, plenty of naps, quality of work, pension fund, new career plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Wally, you can't float through life with no goals and no ambition. Wally: You misjudge me. I have my entire career planned out. My five-year plan is to avoid any sort of work in which my individual accomplishments can be measured. I'll hoard knowledge about one of our legacy systems so I seem indispensable. When I get to within four years of retirement, I'll only work on projects that have a five-year payback. I'll protect my cardiovascular system by getting plenty of naps and not caring about the quality of my work. Then I'll stick a straw in our pension fund and suck on it for the next forty years. Boss: Did you get him straightened out? Catbert: No, but I got a new career plan for myself.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, laziness, socially contagious, lazy vibe, killing motivation, angry

View Transcript

Transcript

Studies show that attitudes are socially contagious. I'm getting a lazy vibe from this idiot. It's totally killing my motivation. Oh, great. Now I'm unmotivated and angry, too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags actors & actresses, ignorance (knowledge), laziness, opinions, informed opinions, hard data, life is a lie

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I like to have opinions. But not informed opinions. It takes so much work to get informed that it defeats the whole point of having an opinion in the first place. Dilbert: What exactly do you think is the "point" of having an opinion? Wally: The point is that it feels good. Dilbert: That's totally nuts. Wally: Oh, is it? Unless you have hard data to back up that comment, it was nothing but an uninformed opinion. That felt good. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're starting to make sense! Wally: Your whole life is a lie.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gadgets, laziness, mobile (cell) phones, smartphone business, strangles, lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're going into the smartphone business. Smartphones are basically gadgets, and we already make gadgets, so how hard could it be? Dilbert: If you strangle me now, I promise I won't resist. Boss: That sounds lazy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee, coffee & tea, energy source, laziness, organic devices, plant seeds

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: This week I tested a source of energy that can power organic devices. It's made from plant seeds and water. Boss: Is the energy source called coffee? Wally: Let's talk about Dilbert's project. I hear it's a mess.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, managers & supervisors, devote energy, projects, setting priorities, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And I need it by next week. Dilbert: I will devote 3.7% of my energy to it. I can give you more if you do your job of setting priorities for my 27 projects. Boss: Can't you set the priorities? Dilbert: Sure. This one just went to 1.7%.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, sense of urgency, energy, pretend to work, fake urgency, vague goals, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to have a sense of urgency. Wally: I use most of my energy pretending to work, but I can add a layer of fake urgency if you really need it. Boss: What? Wally: I gotta go! I have vague goals to achieve!