Leave Better Companies Comic Strips - Page 3

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822 Results for Leave Better Companies

View 21 - 30 results for leave better companies comic strips. Discover the best "Leave Better Companies" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #yank, #loose threads, #cut, #better, #Lose, #head

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Dilbert looks at his shirt sleeve and thinks, "Loose thread." Dilbert grabs the thread and thinks, "I can't remember if it's better to cut these or just yank on them." Dilbert yanks the thread and his head collapses into his shirt.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #mental, #stimulation, #lazy, #knowing, #appreciate

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Dogbert walks down the hall humming. He thinks, "It's one of those days my brain feels lazy." Dogbert thinks, "I'd better avoid any mental stimulation." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert says, "It's times like this I really appreciate knowing you." Dilbert replies, "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #michael, #microchip, #Dogbert, #arm chair, #reality, #dreams, #electronics, #consumber

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Michael: ...after you leave you will not remember being inside your computer talking to a microchip. You will purchase worthless computer upgrades and argue that it saves money in the long run. Dilbert: It's a static byte Dwinkelizer... A necessity really.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cult, #connotation, #morons, #lives, #armchair, #bad things

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I think you've taken your cult idea too far." Dogbert sits in a chair with a crown on his head. Dogbert asks, "Who says it's a cult?" Dilbert replies, "YOU said it's a cult!" Dogbert says, "That word has a bad connotation." Dogbert says, "I prefer to think of it as a bunch of morons who have nothing better to do with their lives."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #prudish, #stupid, #hairball, #wimp, #class, #blessing

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Dilbert and a woman sit on the couch. The woman asks, "Would you like to hold hands?" Dilbert replies, "We'd better not . . . My dog is around here someplace." The woman asks, "What's your dog got to do with anything?" Dilbert replies, "He's a bit prudish. He won't allow it in his house." The woman replies, "HIS house? Ha ha ha! He's YOUR dog! YOU're the master!" The woman continues laughing and says, "Your dog is just a stupid hairball! And you must be a first-class wimp!" She laughs. Dogbert pulls a hose through the window and stands next to the couch holding the nozzle. Dilbert says to him, "With my blessings."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #blowing, #sonic, #obliterator, #escape, #national, #guard, #pursuit, #post office

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Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. The newscaster says, "Our top story: a dog with glasses was seen blowing up empty mail trucks with some type of 'Sonic Obliterator.'" The reporter continues, "Much of the city is in ruins, as the dog blasted through building to escape police and National Guard pursuit." Dogbert says to Dilbert, "On the plus side, we have a much better shortcut to the post office."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #police, #Dogbert, #city, #sketch, #familiar, #mister, #potato, #head, #ziggy, #artist

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Dilbert looks out the window and says, "Looks like the police found your trail, Dogbert. You'd better hide." A police officer says to Dilbert, "We're looking for a dog who destroyed half of the city. Does this sketch look familiar?" Dilbert looks at the drawing and replies, "Yeah . . . It's 'Mister Potato Head' . . . or maybe 'Ziggy.'" The officer says, "We gotta get a better artist."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #invitation, #bother, #courtesy, #hosts, #blitter

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Dilbert and Dogbert stand in the hallway of a couple's house. The man says, "We're so glad you guys could stop by." Dilbert replies, "Thanks for inviting us." Dogbert thinks, "We hardly know them." The woman says, "I'd offer you some coffee, but that would be a bother." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . None for me. Thanks." The woman says, "I noticed you didn't bring any food as a courtesy to your hosts. I guess we'll eat when you leave." The man says, "We usually watch television now, but I'll try not to appear bitter about your visit." The man and woman sit in chairs while Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the floor. The man asks, "Why haven't we done this sooner?" Dogbert replies, "We thought you were scum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #good, #news, #corners, #doctors, #vet, #better, #scared, #boo

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Dogbert sits on his pillow humming. Dilbert sneaks up behind Dogbert and says, "Boo!" Dogbert's ears fly up and he says, "Eeek!" Dogbert sits on an examining table with his ears still standing straight up. The doctor says, "The good news is you'll handle better on corners . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #arm, #asleep, #arm chair, #Dogbert, #tongue, #body

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Dilbert lies on the couch. He thinks, "Uh-oh . . . My foot is asleep." Dilbert thinks, "I'd better hop around . . . Oh no, my arm is asleep too." Dilbert thinks, "Ouch, ouch!! I'll have to hop and wave my arm." Dogbert watches Dilbert hopping and waving his arms. Dilbert speaks to Dogbert and his words are slurred. He thinks, "My tongue is asleep." Dilbert runs into the chair. Dilbert lies face down on the chair. He says, "Aaahhh . . . It's okay now, Dogbert. Everything is back to normal." Dilbert adds, "Except my nose is asleep and I feel a sneeze coming on."