Likes Wood Comic Strips - Page 3

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72 Results for Likes Wood

View 21 - 30 results for likes wood comic strips. Discover the best "Likes Wood" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2000's comic on:


Tags #asset tags, #equipment, #staplers, #not considered equipment, #asset tag man, #conversation

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Asok says to Dilbert, "My assignment is to put asset tags on all equipment." Asok asks Dilbert, "Did you know that staplers are not considered equipment?" Asok walks away from Dilbert, thinking "No one likes to make conversation with the asset tag man."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #alice, #hand, #head, #new temp, #new temp likes, #shakes hand on head

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New Temp: Its a pleasure to meet you Alice. OOWEE!! That was a good hand shake.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #discount brokerage, #estate plan, #pass away, #stay dead, #zombie, #bad gifts

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A man on a cell phone says, "I need an estate plan for after I pass away." Dogbert, in his office and wearing a headset, says to the man, "Here's a plan: Stay dead. No one likes a zombie." The man on the cell phone asks, "What about gifts?" Dogbert's reply is, "Zombies make bad gifts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #low battery indicator, #work day and night, #health decline, #other peoples problems, #creep likes

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The feature creep Creep: Is it too late to give our product a low battery indicator? Dilbert: Id have to work night and day for a month! My health would decline and Id miss all my objectives! Creep: I jus realized that other peoples problems make me all warm inside.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #no raise, #not enough questions, #meetings, #care about job, #thirst for knowledge, #likes wood

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Asok the Intern sits across from the Boss. The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise. You don't ask enough questions in meetings." The Boss continues, "Questions show that you care about your job and have a thirst for knowledge." Asok is seen at a staff meeting, hand raised, asking, "Who else likes wood?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #handwriting analysis, #disturbed loner, #steals, #liberal, #absolutely necessary

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Headline: Handwriting Analysis. Dogbert is sitting across from a male employee. Dogbert reports, "Your handwriting proves that you're a disturbed loner who steals." The employee, looking confused, asks, "What?'' Dogbert stands and exclaims, "Take this thief away!" Two police officers accost the employee from behind. The employee is tied in ropes to a wood pole. The Boss asks Dogbert, "Is this part absolutely necessary?" Dogbert thinks to himself, "Liberal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #turned into sheep, #wear as sweater, #advice not ridicule, #pushy sheep, #bright side, #dilberts mother

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Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. Dilbert says to her, "...And the next thing I knew, I'd been turned into a sheep." Dilbert's mom replies, "On the bright side, I won't need to remind you to wear a sweater." Dilbert says, "I was hoping for advice, not ridicule." Dilbert's mom replies, "No one likes a pushy sheep."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #40 hours, #everyone, #likes asok, #minute old, #new system, #work one computer, #extreme programming

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The Boss says to Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice, "We're going to try something called Extreme Programming." The Boss continues, "First, pick a partner. The two of you will work at one computer for forty hours a week." Dilbert and Alice jump on Asok and cling to him. Wally says, "The new system is a minute old and I already hate everyone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new tech lab, #pick contractor, #lowest bid, #force problems, #chance to gnaw wood, #beaver interview

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I'm putting you in charge of building our new technology lab." The Boss continues, "Pick the contractor with the lowest bid. I don't see any problems with that strategy." Dilbert is meeting with a beaver. Dilbert says, "So, your bid says you'll do the job for... 'A chance to gnaw on wood.'" The beaver responds, "Too high?"

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Share June 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #wants a husbnd, #cooks and cleans, #raises kids, #pursue career, #total turn on, #lemon wedges

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Alice says to Carol, "I want a husband who cooks and cleans and raises the kids while I pursue my career." Alice continues, "To me, that sort of man would be a total turn-on." A man wearing an apron approaches Alice and says, "Yoo-Hoo! Who likes lemon wedges?" A heart floats above Alice's head.