Lose Idealism Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for lose idealism comic strips. Discover the best "Lose Idealism" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #address envelope, #death penalty, #helpless, #master plan, #one way trip, #solve small problems, #speaking engilsh, #training, #south korea

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The Boss holds a letter and says, "Carol, how do I address an envelope?" Carol, his secretary, sings, "I'll do it." Carol explains to Dilbert, "I'm training him to be helpless." She says, "It's part of my master plan to eliminate him." Carol says, "I do everything for him. Soon he'll lose his ability to solve small problems alone." She says, "Then I'll 'accidentally' book him on a one-way trip to South Korea." Carol says, "Before he goes, I'll tell him they have a death penelty for speaking English." Carol laughs a maniacal laugh and says, "We'll never see him again. Buwahaha!" Dilbert walks off and says, "It's worth a shot." The Boss calls from his office and says, "Carol, how do I dial for an outside line?" Carol says, "I'll do it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loans, #funding, #scam artist, #dogbert on tv, #people believe

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Dilbert is at home watching television. Dogbert's infomercial is on tv. Dogbert sits at a desk and says, "Would you like to make $1,000 per month for a whole year?" Dogbert says, "Send $13,000 for complete information about Dogbert no-load funds." An individual is furiously writing the information down as Dobert says, "I'll include my free pamphlet explaining how to lose weight by eating less food." The guy thinks, "Show the number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #project, #company startegy, #lose hope

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Dilbert and The Boss sitting at desk across from eachother. Dilbert asks, "How much budget do I have for my project?" The Boss replies, "I can't tell you." The Boss says, "If you knew what your budget was, you'd spend it all." Dilbert inquires," Can you at least tell me what our company strategy is?" The Boss responds, "No, I don't want you to lose hope."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil hr director, #post prey, #vacation request form, #lose vacation, #exist, #shadows, #cubicle wall, #philosophy os useless

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Catbert walks on the wall of Wally's cubicle. He thinks, "The evil director of human resources spots his prey." Catbert stands on top of Wally's computer and says, "Wally, you haven't filled out a vacation request form yet." Catbert continues, "If we don't get it by tomorrow, you lose your vacation." Wally asks, "Where do I get a form?" Catbert replies, "We're all out." Wally is furious and screams, "Did they ever exist?" Catbert says, "Wally, does anything really exist, or is it all just shadows on a cubicle wall?" Catbert stands and says, "I leave you with that thought." Catbert continues walking on the wall of the cubicle as Wally bangs his head on his desk. Catbert thinks, "Who says philosophy is useless?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #justin, #job interview, #medical research, #hydroelectric dam, #sound of idealism dying, #fabric covered boxes

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An interviewee sits at the table across from Dilbert. Dilbert asks, "So...Justin, why do you want to work here?" Justin replies, "I want to find a cure for asthma!" Dilbert replies, "We don't do medical research here." Justin says, "Oh." Justin holds out his arms and says, "Then I want to build the biggest hydroelectric dam in the world!" Dilbert says, "We don't do that either." Justin asks, "What do you do?" Dilbert replies, "We sit in fabric-covered boxes." Justin sits there and a snapping noise sounds above his head. It goes, "Shrivel. Crinkle. Ack!" Dilbert says, "That was the sound of your idealism dying." Justin says, "Show me to my box."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #how to book, #teach people, #winning lottery numbers, #find free real estate, #lose weight, #tubs of ice cream, #strong abs, #see angels, #near death experience, #get rid witnesses

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Dogbert sits at Dilberts computer. Dilbert stands in a robe with a cup of coffee. Dogbert says, "I'm writing a comprehensive "how to" book." Dogbert says, "In chapter one, I teach people how to pick winning lottery numbers." Dogbert says, "Chapter two: How to find free real estate in very nice neighborhoods." Dogbert says, "Chapter three: how to lose weight by eating huge tubs of ice cream." Dogbert says, "Chapter four: how to build strong abs by joining a gym and never going." Dogbert says, "Finally, how to see angels by giving yourself a near death experience." Dogbert says, "That last one is just to get rid of all the witnesses." Dilbert thinks, "On the plus side I don't feel so bad about not recycling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finish project, #on time, #geta better boss, #better project, #weeks of confsuion, #no work, #less work, #morale up

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The Boss sits at the conference table and says, "If you don't finish the project on time, I'll probably lose my job." Asok the Intern asks, "What would happen to us?" Dilbert answers, "We would get a better boss." Wally continues, "We might get a better project too!" Alice goes on, "There would be weeks of confusion with no work at all!" Everyone shouts, "YAY!!" Alice holds her hands close to her chest and says, "It's all ours if we simply do less work!" Alice says, "Whoo! I've never felt my morale go up before. I'm dizzy." The Boss looks at his paper and curses, "#$%^$#!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vp, #office, #spy, #lose document, #use tools, #desk, #avoid making decison, #procrastination

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2:19PM The VP Reads a Document. The subject tries to lose the document to avoid making deciosn. 2:21 PM The subject learns to use tools.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unvested stock, #quit, #lose stock, #brain irrationality, #small loss, #huge opportunity, #stupid

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Outdoors, Dilbert tells Garbage Man: "If I quit I'll lose some unvested stock. That's why I'm willing to suffer my job." Garbage Man replies: "A normal brain irrationally puts more weight on a small loss than a huge opportunity." Dilbert begins to say: "But now that you explained it..." But Garbage Man interrupts him: "Now you're just stupid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lose weight, #write down meals, #patented weight loss pencil

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Dogbert says to his client, "You can lose weight if you write down all of your meals in a journal." The man asks Dogbert, "That's all I need to do?" And Dogbert replies, "Yes, if you use our patented weight-loss pencil." The man leaves Dogbert carrying a gigantic pencil over his shoulder.