Minute Old Comic Strips - Page 3

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342 Results for Minute Old

View 21 - 30 results for minute old comic strips. Discover the best "Minute Old" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #friend, #Dogbert, #lab, #days, #lab rat, #experiement

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Ratbert walks along thinking, "I should go visit my old friend, Dogbert." Ratbert thinks, "I can get there in five days if I hurry." Ratbert walks through a maze in a lab. He thinks, "Lucky he's only a block away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #stand-up, #comedy, #competition, #straightforward, #freestyle, #mandatory, #categories, #mattresses

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided to enter the stand-up comedy competition next week." Dilbert reads a document and continues, "The rules seem pretty straightforward . . . Five minutes per person . . . The first minute is freestyle comedy." Dilbert continues, "The remaining time is for the mandatory categories: Dan Quayle, flatulence, and the warning labels on mattresses."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #comedy, #competition, #first, #joke, #old people, #dragged, #stage, #third place

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Dogbert asks Dilbert, "How did you do in the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert's clothes are tattered and he has bruises on his face. Dilbert replies, "I was halfway through my first joke -- about old people, when an elderly woman dragged me off stage and slapped the bejeezus out of me." Dilbert holds up a trophy and says, ". . . It was good enough for third place."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #edna, #protect, #planning, #boots, #cat, #dating

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A woman holding a cocktail glass says to another woman, "Uh-oh . . . That guy is coming to talk to us." Dilbert thinks, "I hate this long walk across the room." The woman says, "You're the ugly one, Edna. You'll have to protect me." Dilbert thinks, "They spotted me. They're planning a defense." The woman says to Edna, "I'll push you between us. You start babbling about your cat or something." Dilbert thinks, "I can't do it. I'll veer off at the last minute . . ." The woman shouts, "Now, Edna!" and pushes her. Edna falls and Dilbert trips over her. The woman thinks, "It's hard to be the pretty one." From the floor, Edna says, "I have a cat named Boots."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #baby, #pregnancy, #maternity leave, #xerox, #machine, #copies, #deliver, #worker's rights

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Dilbert asks Alice, who is pregnant, "When's the baby due?" Alice replies, "Any minute now." Alice continues, "This company has no maternity leave policy, so I'm going to deliver by the Xerox machine and keep working." Dilbert says to a man, "That doesn't seem fair." The man replies, "Yeah, especially if you need to make copies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #car, #salesman, #woman, #old, #steal, #purse, #drive, #foot, #boss, #convince, #first born, #son, #relatives

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Dogbert says to a customer, "I asked the boss to sell it at your price." Dogbert continues, "He told me to drive over your foot and steal your purse." Dogbert continues, "Buy maybe I can convince him to take your first-born son instead." The woman says, "He IS my first-born son!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #minute, #pen, #farewell, #been, #true, #wind, #love, #you, #personal, #relationship, #brenda

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally enters his cubicle and asks, "May I borrow your pen for a minute?" Dilbert says to his pen, "Farewell, little friend. You have always been true. May the wind be at your back. I . . . I . . . Love you . . ." Wally hands the pen back to Dilbert and says, "Uh . . . Could I borrow one which you've had less of a personal relationship with?" Dilbert asks, "How about Brenda?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #fate, #steal, #dilberts, #hover-saucer, #conquer, #tiny, #nation, #elbonia, #knock, #unfriendly, #merger, #opportunity

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Dogbert sits on his pillow. There is a knock at the door. Dogbert opens the door and an old man with a staff and a hat with an "F" on it stands on the doorstep. The man says, "Dogbert, I am 'Fate.' You must steal Dilbert's hover-saucer and conquer the tiny nation of Elbonia." Dogbert asks, "Since when does Fate knock?" The man replies, "I was bought out in an unfriendly merger by 'Opportunity.' I should have seen it coming."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #item, #vacation, #increments, #regular, #work, #days, #vacations, #avoid, #assignments, #minutes, #cough, #better, #take, #some, #sick, #time

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Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Ted, can you explain number two?" Ted replies, "No. I'm on vacation." Ted explains, "I take my vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days. That way I can avoid assignments." Dilbert says, "Your ten minutes are up." Ted coughs and says, "Whoa, I'd better take some sick time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #ceo, #old, #job, #stressful, #roses, #afford

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I stepped down as CEO and took my old job back - it's less stressful." Dogbert replies, "Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses." Dilbert says, "Exactly." Dogbert says, "Too bad we can't afford any roses now."