Misplaced Optimism Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

50 Results for Misplaced Optimism

View 21 - 30 results for misplaced optimism comic strips. Discover the best "Misplaced Optimism" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2008's comic on:

Tags #follow arc, #phase one, #unwarranted optimism, #delusions of competence, #phase two, #obstructionists slither, #smother dreams, #ignorance and envy, #fuel rumors, #morph into common knowledge, #resources allocated, #misinformation and favoritism, #requirements will drift, #undesirable and impossible

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Our project plan will follow the usual arc." Dilbert says, "Phase one will be unwarranted optimism supported by delusions of competence." Dilbert says, "In phase two, the obstructionists will slither out of their lairs and try to smother our dreams." Dilbert says, "Ignorance and envy will fuel rumors that get repeated until they morph into common knowledge." Dilbert says, "Resources will be allocated based on misinformation and favoritism." Dilbert says, "And requirements will drift until the project is both undesirable and impossible." Dilbert says, "That brings us to the second week." Asok says, "I want my unwarranted optimism back."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2010's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #work, #lazy, #update software, #computer, #reboot, #endless cycle, #drink coffee, #optimism, #past, #waste time, #technology, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Every time I update my software, it tells me I have to reboot." Wally says, "And every time I reboot, I get another message to update something else. It's all I've been doing since October." The Boss says, "But you worked in September, right?" Wally says, "I admire your optimism about the past."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2010's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #customer, #wear jacket, #lazy, #optimism, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I'm on my way to a meeting with a prospective customer." Wally says, "We have such a long sales gestation period that the value of my efforts won't be known for two years." Wally says, "Just remember that optimism looks exactly like doing nothing."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2010's comic on:

Tags #rival, #drain hope, #optimism, #yell, #freak out, #scary, #mouth open, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "You mission is to assassinate the motivation of my rival." The Boss says, "I want you to attend a meeting with him and drain the optimism out of his body." Man says, "What is happening to my sense of hope?" Wally says, "Let it happen."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2011's comic on:

Tags #laziness, #meetings, #optimism, #vice presdient, #unoccupied room, #cell phone, #finish soon, #nap in cubilce, #get work done, #run errands, #optimism like disappointement, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Our meeting room is being used by a vice president." The Boss says, "I need all of you to search for an unoccupied room. Call my cell when you find one." The Boss says, "I'll stay here in case they finish soon." Dilbert says, "Where are you going to look?" Wally says, "I'm going to take a nap in my cubicle and hope the problem takes care of itself." Dilbert says, "Good idea. I'll go get some work done." Alice says, "Perfect time to run some errands." The Boss says, "Optimism is a lot like disappointment."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2011's comic on:

Tags #lying, #optimism, #projections, #realistic, #optimistic, #near death, #hallucination, #luci dream

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are your projections realistic or optimistic? Dilbert: They're halfway between a lucid dream and a near-death hallucination. Boss: I'll call them "most likely."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2011's comic on:

Tags #commerce, #optimism, #patents, #patent infringement, #google, #apple, #microsoft, #oracle, #nasa, #astroid, #life span of optimist, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: Our newest product infringes patents from Google, Apple, Microsoft, and Oracle. They've joined forces and hired NASA to nudge an asteroid toward our headquarters. Boss: I think we can win this. Lawyer: I wonder what the average life span of an optimist is.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2012's comic on:

Tags #discussion, #ideas, #meeting, #originality, #irrational thinking, #optoistic, #new prodcuts, #faking optomisim, #fake buy in, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: ... and that's my suggestion for our next product. Alice: How do we know that ten other companies aren't working on the same idea. Dilbert: Well, that's always a possibility. Wally: There are seven billion people on Earth. I'll bet a million of them had this idea. Asok: It's irrational to think that any new product is likely to be a hit. On the other hand, we only get paid if we pretend to be optimistic about new products. Wally: All in favor of faking our optimism, raise your hands. Dilbert: All I could get was a fake buy-in. Boss: That's the only kind there is.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2013's comic on:

Tags #new year's day, #optimism, #network down, #bad new years day, #good year

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: A fresh new year is upon us and I am brimming with optimism. Ugh. Our network at work is down because my pointy-haired boss wouldn't let me upgrade the software. Now I need to work all night to fix it. Maybe this means the next 364 days will be extra awesome. Dogbert: Yeah. That's how it works.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2013's comic on:

Tags #dress cassually, #drive innovation, #flex hours, #frustration, #optimism, #start up culture, #valued work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to foster more of a start-up culture to drive innovation. Dilbert: So we get to dress casually, work flex hours, feel that our work is valued, and get equity in the company. Boss: What would be the name of a culture where people work hard but don't get any of those things you just mentioned.