Mr. Boss Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for mr. boss comic strips. Discover the best "Mr. Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #construction, #garage, #paper, #clips, #gold, #watch, #birthdays

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Dilbert sits at a banquet table with three other people. The Boss stands at the podium and says, "Thank you all for coming to Irv Klepfurd's retirement celebration." The Boss continues, "Many of you know that Irv has been pilfering office supplies for his entire career." The Boss continues, "In fact, he's only retiring now because he finished construction on his garage made entirely of paper clips." The Boss continues, "This bill is for $87,000 of personal phone calls made from the office." The Boss continues, "Instead of a gold watch, I'm going to write the current time on this yellow sticky pad and slap it on his forehead." The Boss slaps Irv. The Boss continues, "Now . . . I understand we have some birthdays today . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #japanese, #technology, #advantages, #japan, #employee, #exchange

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Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We can no longer compete against the Japanese with their technology advantages." The Boss continues, "So we're sending you to Japan on an employee exchange program." Dilbert asks, "To learn their technology and bring it back here?" The Boss replies, "Just do for them what you've done for us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #surprise, #accounting, #figures, #business

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The Boss: Dilbert, go down to the accounting department and find out what these figures mean. Dilbert: No... P-please... They aren't even human there. Witch: I don't like him. Troll: Surprise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #finances, #financial troll, #witch, #bradley, #budget report, #budget, #erasing

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Dilbert: Great... Not only am I being forced to work in the accounting department, but I'm slowly turning into a troll. Wait a minute... This is the budget for the accounting department itself... What happens if I erase it? Bradley: Boss!!? Boss!!? Witch: Help me! I'm melting! Aaagh!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #talk, #respect, #intangible, #body language, #victory, #workers

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Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "The worst he can do is fire me . . ." Dilbert says, "Boss, I need to talk to you." Dilbert continues, "I feel you don't respect me . . ." Dilbert continues, "It's an intangible thing . . ." The Boss thinks, "Sneeze coming . . ." Dilbert continues, "I see it in your body language . . ." The Boss grabs Dilbert's shirt. Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes the things you say . . ." The Boss rips Dilbert's shirt off his body. The Boss sneezes and uses Dilbert's shirt as a handkerchief. Dilbert sits at his desk without a shirt. He says, "This has been something less than a victory for workers everywhere."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #cop, #Dilbert, #hunted, #killed, #wild, #deer, #fingerprints, #evidence

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Dogbert answers the front door and asks, "Yes?" A police officer says, "Mr. Dogbert, I have bad news." The policeman continues, "It appears that Dilbert was hunted down and killed by wild deer." The officer continues, "We think it was a professional job; they didn't leave fingerprints."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #rambling, #questions, #focus, #johnson, #fetch, #stick, #achieve, #sacrificing, #customer, #the boss

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, the staff meeting is over. Does anybody have any meaningless rambling questions? Johnson?" Johnson asks, "How can we work as a team to achieve total quality without sacrificing customer focus?" The Boss asks, "How many people would like to see me make Johnson fetch this stick?" Everyone raises their hands.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mr. tidy, #punk, #experienced, #stealing, #homes, #area, #extra, #van, #nicer

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Dilbert asks the cleaning man, "And your name is . . . ?" The man replies, "Call me Mr. Tidy." Dilbert says, "The agency says you're experienced." The man replies, "Yeah, I've cleaned out some of the nicer homes in this area." The man continues, "The best thing here is to load your possessions into my van and I'll clean 'em at my place." Dilbert asks, "Will that cost me extra?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #vigilante, #work, #robbbed, #house, #job, #imposter, #boss, #sassoon, #the boss

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The caption says, "Dilbert the Vigilante." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "When I get home from work, we'll track down the man who robbed our house and make him pay!!" At work, a man with a mohawk haircut, an eyepatch and clothes like Dilbert's sits at Dilbert's desk. Dilbert thinks, "No! It's the robber at my desk. He's stealing my job too!" Dilbert says to the Boss, "He's an impostor. Look at his hair!" The Boss replies, "We thought you'd been in a street fight with Vidal Sassoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #mr. tidy, #rid, #finished, #report, #mr. boss, #thief, #produced, #the boss

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Don't worry. If it's true that an impostor is trying to steal your job, I'll get rid of him at once." Dilbert points at a man with an eyepatch, a mohawk haircut and clothes like Dilbert's. Dilbert says, "There he is! And he doesn't even look like me!" The robber replies, "I finished the report." Dilbert says, "There's only room for one Dilbert!!" The Boss reads the report and says, "But this one actually produced something . . ."