Next Level Shale Comic Strips - Page 3

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633 Results for Next Level Shale

View 21 - 30 results for next level shale comic strips. Discover the best "Next Level Shale" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #calculating, #twenty, #percent, #fiften, #picture, #diner, #salad, #forks, #backs

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table in a restaurant. The waiter hands Dilbert the check and says, "I've taken the liberty of calculating a twenty-percent tip." The server continues, "It's written on the back next to a picture of a smiling diner . . . A fifteen-percent tip is shown by the picture of a guilty-looking diner." The waiter continues, "Below that is a picture of a diner and his dog with salad forks in their backs . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #asteroid, #Dogbert, #death, #space, #evil, #golf ball, #dooms day

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Dilbert stands at a desk and Dogbert sits next to a telescope. Dilbert says, "According to my calculations, the asteroid 'Sagnorpt' will collide with earth in 2.3 minutes." Dogbert covers his eyes and screams, "We're all gonna die!" Dogbert hugs Dilbert's legs and shouts, "I'm sorry about all of those bad things I've done to you!" Dogbert cries, "I renounce my evil ways! I dedicate the remaining minute of my life to the poor!!" Dogbert says, "Waitta minute . . . Why aren't you groveling for salvation?" Dilbert replies, "The asteroid is only the size of a golf ball." There's a large crash. Dilbert lies on the floor after the asteroid hits him on the head. Dogbert says, "I probably shouldn't try to read too much into this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #irrational, #love, #doc, #literature, #stupid, #guy-thing, #therapy

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Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to him taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . And I've had this irrational love for hardware stores as long as I can remember." Dilbert continues, "I mean . . I LOVE them. I ACTUALLY love them. You gotta help me, doc." The psychiatrist says, "I've heard of this . . . I think the literature refers to it as 'a stupid guy-thing.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #mineral, #water, #pharaohs, #scientifically, #produce, #deep, #relaxation, #bandages, #pyramid

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Dogbert uses a megaphone to address several people wearing only towels. Dogbert says, "You are now ready for the next step in my 'New Age Mineral Water Spa' therapy." Dogbert continues, "This next therapy was practiced by the pharaohs . . . It has been scientifically proven to produce deep relaxation." Dogbert continues, "Please pick up a roll of bandages and line up in front of the pyramid door . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #space, #shuttle, #leaders, #Dogbert, #nasa, #nerds, #assembling, #fields

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Dilbert stands in front of the mailbox. Dilbert reads a letter and says, "Yes! I've been chosen for the next space shuttle mission!!" Dogbert asks, "Why you?" Dilbert replies, "They're probably assembling leaders from different fields." At NASA, a scientist points to a diagram and says, "In our next flight, we will study the effects of weightlessness on nerds . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #judicial proceedings, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #lawyer, #jury duty, #kill, #axe, #civic duty

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The defense lawyer says to the jury, "My client has been accused of the most heinous crimes." The attorney points to a man holding an ax and wearing an executioner's hat. The attorney asks, "But does this look like a person who could kill??" Dogbert, who is sitting next to Dilbert, raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #judicial proceedings, #lawyer, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hypothetical, #hypocracy, #jury duty, #standing, #less, #people, #executioner, #client

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The defense lawyer says, "Okay, let's say that, hypothetically, my client did kill those people . . ." His client is holding an ax and wearing an executioner's hat. The attorney says to Dilbert and the other members of the jury, "Chances are that it was nobody you know." The lawyer continues, "And the next time you're standing in a long line, ask yourself: 'Am I better off now that there are less people?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dawn, #decades, #parents, #dinosaurs, #animal behavior, #rex, #child

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Bob: We're your parents. And if you do as we say for the next two decades. You'll grow up to be just like me. Rex: Don't even kid about that...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #pride, #museum, #strange, #amazing, #cauliflower, #breakfast, #marylin, #dan quayle

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Dogbert leads a tour group. He says, "This next exhibit is the pride of 'Dogbert's Museum of the Strange and Amazing.'" A man holds his child up to see an exhibit that is labeled "Dan Quayle's Brain." The man says, "It looks like a little piece of cauliflower." The child eats the cauliflower and his father says, "Sorry, we should have stopped for breakfast . . ." Dogbert says, "What am I going to tell Marilyn?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #scientist, #anti-defamation, #league, #stereotype, #social, #lives, #meeting

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A man stands at a podium and says into the microphone, "Welcome to the 'Scientist Anti-Defamation League' weekly meeting." The man continues, "Tonight's topic is the stereotype that we scientists have no social lives . . . But first . . ." The man asks, "Is Saturday night okay for our next meeting?" Someone says, "I'm free." Another person says, "No problem." Another person says, "Wide open."