Orders Comic Strips - Page 3
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30 Results for Orders
View 21 - 30 results for orders comic strips. Discover the best "Orders" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 31,
2009
Tags work, orders, miserable, cruel, mean, trip, ridiculous
Transcript
The Boss says, "I need you to attend a three-day industry standards meeting in Elbonia." Dilbert says, "Why Elbonia?" The boss says, "Because Elbonia is the worst place on Earth. The member companies don't want this to look like a boondoggle." Dilbert says, "I guess three days won't be so bad." The boss says, "You're not allowed to eat."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday October 02,
2009
Tags orders, job, elbonia, training, lonely, uncomfortable, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I need you to go to Elbonia and do some hand-holding while they cut over to the new system." Dilbert says, "Because they?re incompitent?" The boss says, "And lonely." Dilbert says, "I'm not comfortable with this." Elbonian says, "Mud wine?"
Saturday November 21,
2009
Tags sitting, meeting, title, meaningless, proud, mean, cruel, deflated, orders, business
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says ,"Employees are so important to me that our head of human resources will get a C-level title." Dogbert says, "Edna will be our CPO, or Chief People officer." Dogbert says ,"Take a seat over there by the chief artificial coffee creamer officer."
Thursday November 25,
2010
Tags director of purchasing, ethernet switch, pencils, annoyed, problem, dinosaur
Transcript
Bob, Director of Purchasing Asok says, "I requested an ethernet switch and you sent me a box of pencils." Bob says, "Sometimes I tweak the non-standard orders so I can use our approved vendors." Asok says, "You can't tell the difference between a switch and a pencil?" Bob says, "I can tell the difference between your problem and mine."
Saturday March 05,
2011
Tags exhibitions, honesty, relations between the sexes, chat me up, mammary filter, trade show, free stuff, job orders
Transcript
At the trade show Woman says, "Are you actually interested in this product or are you just trying to chat me up?" Dilbert says, "The show is too big to see everything, so I use a mammary filter to decide who I talk to." Woman says, "You use a what?" Dilbert says, "Do you have any free stuff or job offers?"
Sunday September 15,
2013
Tags frustration, managers & supervisors, product changes, change orders, new features, online change order system, old forms, change order, managemet, better plan, business
Transcript
Boss; Don't make any product changes without change orders. When users ask for new features, direct them to the online change order system. Dilbert: That system only has the old forms. Boss: Tell someone to put the new ones on there. Wally: That would require a change order. Dilbert: Maybe we could tell users our sense of hope was killed by something called management. The we could sort of slump over like we're waiting for death's cold embrace. Boss: I'll get back to you if I think of a better plan.
Thursday October 16,
2014
Tags insult, insulting, insults, obliviousness, robot, filling in, vacation, soul less creature, questionable intelligence
Transcript
Boss: Our robot will be sitting in for me while I'm on vacation. I hope you can get used to taking orders from a soulless creature of questionable intelligence. Wally: I think I can do that. Boss: That's the spirit!
Wednesday January 22,
2020
Illegal To Sell Armed Drones
Tags illegal, armed, drones, private, citizens, sell, business, technology, bribe, law
Transcript
boss: i just learned it's illegal to sell armed drones to private citizens. how many orders did we get since we started selling them this morning? dilbert: seventy million. boss: i'll look into bribing someone to change the law.
Friday June 26,
2020
Input From Idiots
Tags office workers, sarcasm, technology, input, idiots, project, variety, dumb, informed, leadership
Transcript
dilbert: per your orders, i got input on my project from a variety of people who are dumber and less informed than i am. as you might imagine, the net effect was to make everything worse. boss: are you done? dilbert: i just want to thank you for all the leadership.
Sunday October 25,
2020
Refusing Customer Demands
Tags business, customer, demands, face mask, fault, Lose, managers & supervisors, refuse, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
dilbert: as you instructed, i refused to give in to our biggest customer's demands and they canceled all of their orders. boss: i didn't tell you to do that, you fool! dilbert: you told me to do exactly that. boss: i never told you to lose our biggest customer! dilbert: you told me to refuse their demands. boss: but i didn't tell you to lose the customer! dilbert yelling: it's the same thing!!! boss: the important thing here is that it's your fault. Dilbert yelling: i get it!!!
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