Program Website Comic Strips - Page 3

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161 Results for Program Website

View 21 - 30 results for program website comic strips. Discover the best "Program Website" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bug, #computer, #program, #long, #date, #Women, #relationships

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, ". . . So, then I thought, ha! Maybe there's a bug in the computer program itself!" The woman reaches into her purse. The woman sprays Dilbert with a can of mace and he screams. Dilbert says, "Maybe that story went on a little long . . ." The woman asks, "What gave it away?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #dave, #haircut, #management, #fast-track, #program, #hair

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Dave sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "Dave, I hear that you've started cutting your own hair . . ." The Boss continues, "I'm afraid I'll have to drop you from the management fast-track program." The Boss walks away thinking, "Lucky we caught that one before he got too far."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #healing, #dollars, #psychic, #power, #prevent, #millions, #pimples, #neighbor

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On his television program, Dogbert stands in front of a curtain and holds a microphone. Dogbert says, "Welcome to my show, 'Healing for Dollars.'" Dogbert continues, "Today I will use my psychic healing power to prevent millions of people from getting pimples on their tongues." A man and a woman sit on a couch sticking their tongues out. As they watch their tongues, the woman says, "Ith working! Get the theckbook!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #programming, #sissy, #icons, #zeros, #sometimes, #entire, #database, #program, #letter

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An older man, Dilbert and Wally sit at the lunch table. The man says, "When I started programming, we didn't have any of these sissy 'icons' and 'windows.'" The man continues, "All we had were zeros and ones - and sometimes we didn't even have ones." The man continues, "I wrote an entire database program using only zeros." Dilbert asks, "You had zeros? We had to use the letter 'O.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #violence, #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #ted, #program, #humor, #kick me, #relaxed, #creative, #advantage, #situation

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The Boss hands a sign to Dilbert, Alice and Ted. The Boss says, "As part of my program to use more humor at work, I'm asking each of you to wear a 'kick me' sign." The Boss tapes a sign to Dilbert's back and says, "I'll check later to see if you're more relaxed and creative." Later, the Boss says to Alice, "You seem to be taking unfair advantage of the situation, Alice." Dilbert and two male co-workers stand covering their groins and looking like they are in pain.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #agenda, #discussion, #paper, #recycling, #program, #drawback

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "First on the agenda is a discussion of the company's new paper recycling program." Dilbert looks at the agenda and says, "We talked about that last time . . . Hey, this is last week's agenda." The Boss replies, "You spotted the one drawback."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #statistics, #productivity, #computers, #software, #program, #conclusion, #produced, #impressive, #crashed, #decline, #responsible, #scapegoat

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Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk and says, "Government statistics show that office productivity went DOWN as computers became widely used." Dilbert continues, "But I didn't believe it." Dilbert says, "So I wrote a little software program to test that conclusion." Dilbert continues, "It only tood a month, but it produced some impressive data." Dilbert continues, "In fact, it was so impressive it took a week to figure out how to print it." Dilbert continues, "But before I could print, my computer crashed and I didn't have backup copies." Dilbert concludes, "So, it seems the government was right; computers are to blame for the decline in productivity." The Boss asks, "Do you think the employees could be partly responsible?" Dilbert replies, "Sure, find a scapegoat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #ted, #managment

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The Boss stands behind Ted's desk and says, "Ted, you're part of the company 'right sizing' program, effective today." Ted replies, "Thank you! It's nice to get positive feedback from the boss!" The Boss says, "It's not feedback. I'm saying your position has been 'management adjusted.'" Ted replies, "Sounds great! Is there a raise involved?" The Boss says angrily, "Listen to me!! You're part of 'manager attrition' starting right now!" Ted says, "Wow! Is that the fast-track program for managers?" Wally tells Dilbert, "I heard that Ted got picked for the 'manager attrition' program." Dilbert asks angrily, "Why not us?" Dilbert and Wally stand across from the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "So unless you put us on the 'manager attrition' program too, we quit!" The Boss thinks, "There's never a flamethrower handy when you need it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #alice, #worklife balance, #company

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Alice stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I'm working too many hours . . . I never spend time with my family." The Boss holds up a brochure and replies, "The company cares. That's why we've developed a program to teach you how to cope." Alice reads the pamphlet, "Celibacy and adoption - the choice for the nineties."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #basketball, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #michael jordan, #virtual reality

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Dilbert and Dogbert stand under a basketball hoop. Dilbert says, "You might as well admit I'm a better basketball player, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "Never!" Dogbert jumps into the air holding the ball. Dogbert flies over Dilbert's head. Dilbert shouts, "No fair! You're hovering!" Dogbert replies, "It's just the illusion of 'hang time.' I learned it from Michael Jordan." Dogbert floats toward the rim and says, "It's a combination of great leaping skill plus the way I move my legs." Dogbert dunks the ball. Dilbert points to Dogbert, who hovers in midair. Dilbert says, "There! Right there! That's definitely hovering!!!" Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch wearing goggles and gloves. Dilbert says, "I think you tampered with the virtual reality program!" Dogbert says, "Play the game."