Reveal Incompetence Comic Strips - Page 3

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52 Results for Reveal Incompetence

View 21 - 30 results for reveal incompetence comic strips. Discover the best "Reveal Incompetence" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ytransferred, #new job, #secretary job eliminated, #masive incompetence, #resentment, #anger, #splitting mad, #offers new job

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The Boss: "Carol, two things: First, I got transferred to a new job, and that means your job here is eliminated." Carol: "Why must I suffer for your massive incompetence? You worthless pile of stinking crud!" "And the second thing?" The boss: "I'll need a secretary at the new job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astonishing incompetence, #stars of project, #issues

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The Boss: "Alice, what's the status of your project?" Alice: "The astonishing incompetence of others caused me to jump through a window and land in a dumpster." The Boss: "So then, no issues?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Your lawyer threatened to sue if I fire you for gross incompetence. So I decided to let you stay. "And we've moved to an alphabetical system for awarding 'Employee of the Month'. This is your month." "Stupid alphabet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Today I will teach you how to use your incompetence to achieve your goals." "Step 1: Be incompetent. (Also known as 'the easy part.')" "Step 2: Volunteer for the most difficult and important projects" "Step 3: Convince your boss that an enemy within the company is slowing you down." "Step 4: Insist that competent people be pulled off of other projects to help you." "Step 5: Declare yourself the leader of the competent people" "Step 6: Claim credit for the work of the competent people." "Step 7: After you get promoted, fire the competent people to eliminate witnesses."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fired, #gross incompetence, #train, #before leaving, #coded jave app, #incompetent parts

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CarL: "Although I've been fired for gross incompetence, I'm professional enough to train you before I leave." Dilbert:"Don't bother. I already coded a Java app to do everything you do." Carl: "Everything?" Dilbert: "Except for the incompetent parts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #firing, #incompetent, #another job, #lack of training, #new job, #incompetence, #normal

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The Boss: "Bruce, you're totally incompetent at your job, so I've moving you to another job." "I'm hoping your lack of training for your new job will make your incompetence seem normal." Half of this job is know when to give up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #depressed, #dilbert and mother, #disengaged with son, #engage, #incompetence, #life is a joke, #monkeys, #talk, #work, #no punchline, #lifeguards

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Dilmom: How is work Dilbert? Dilbert: Well, mom...I'm like a fly stuck in a thick tar of despair. Incompetence hangs in the air like the cold stench of death. I'm drowning, and monkeys dressed as lifeguards are throwing me anvils. My job has convinced me that life is a stale joke with no punch line. I long for the comfort of the grave. Dilmom: Next time just say 'it's fine. Dilbert: I enjoy our talks. Dilmom: It's fine.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #meeting, #ridicule, #confusion, #business

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Dilbert says, "the biggest risk to the project is our own thundering incompetence." Duh! Dilbert says, "It is a known fact that every project has at least one irredeemable imbecile." The boss says, "I have a vague, uneasy feeling about your clip art."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walk, #outside, #project, #budget, #executive cancel, #wag tail, #evil, #cure, #incompetence, #back shot, #stand on stump

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Dilbert says, "We realized our project can't work even if we execute it perfectly." Dilbert says, "Our boss' plan is to go over budget, attract attention, and hope an executive cancels our project for his own political reasons." Dogbert says, "Now do you agree that evil is the cure for incompetence?" Dilbert says, "Don't make me say it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #credit card expense, #reimbursement, #late fees, #punish, #devil, #hell, #rock, #sit at computer

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Dilbert says, "It takes you two months to process my company credit card expense reimbursement." Dilbert says, "So I get in trouble every month for incurring late fees." Dilbert says, "Why must I be punished for your incompetence?" Devil says, "Apparently I'm awesome."