Ridiculous Comic Strips - Page 3
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View 21 - 30 results for ridiculous comic strips. Discover the best "Ridiculous" comics from Dilbert.com.
"Remember to include my name on the patent application." "Why? You didn't help." "That's ridiculous! I've been helping you design that thing for months!" "I saved all three of your e-mails. Allow me to read them." "'Dude, is something wrong with your brain?'" "Later: 'Hey, Dilweed, maybe you should replace the backplane with a gizmo.'" "Then my personal favorite: 'Dilbag, I'm glad you took my advice to leave the backplane alone.'" "That's my way of helping." "It's great. You should patent it."
"In order to boost productivity, the company has decided that employees can not use e-mail on Fridays." "What if my highest priorities require e-mail? Should I waste my day doing worthless stuff?" "Geez, somehow you made a great idea seem ridiculous." "Yeah, that's all me."
Alice: I can't stop punching people who deserve to be punched. For example, your high rates and ridiculous combover make me want to punch your face in. Therapist: But you won't right? Alice: Lets see what happens when I regain the element of surprise.
The Boss: Our new VP of marketing promises to improve our revenues by ten billion percent! Alice: "That is a ridiculous lie that only a gullible moron would believe." Dogbeet: "Oh yeah? How do you explain the fact that HE believed it?" The boss: "Touche"
Catbert: Evil director of human resources CatBert: "From now on, all sick days must be scheduled in advance." Alice: "That's ridiculous. how are we supposed to know when we're going to be sick?" "Tomorrow." Catbert: "I hired a guy who never washes his hands to help you with scheduling."
Dogbert says, "In your first round of interviews we tested your reaction to humiliation and small arms fire." Dogbert says, "In round two I will test your ability to keep company secrets." Ratbert says, "When are you going to tell him this is a courtesy interview?" Dilbert says, "What?"
Dilbert in sales Salesman says, "We had to be more creative because of the soft economy." Salesman says, "now we kill our customers and replace them with body doubles who place big orders." Customer says, "Who's the handsome new sales guy?" Salesman says, "He's you in about ten minutes."
A woman says, "Wally, we'd like to transition your role in this project." woman says, "During the first week, you were the lead engineer." woman says, "Going forward, you'll be in more of an advisory role." woman says, "And by that I mean we have a restraining order against you." woman says, "You're not allowed within 100 yards of the conference room." woman says, "We've changed our cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses." woman says, "And we're all having reconstructive surgery so you won't recognize us in the hallway." The boss says, "Did you accomplish anything this week?" Wally says, "Mary, is that you?"
Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. My company cut the travel budget so I had to hitch a ride with a serial killer." Dilbert says, "He took me to an abandoned slaughterhouse. I knocked him out with a hambone, stole his truck and drove directly here." Man says, "All I heard was 'Blah, blah, blah, I'm late.'" Dilbert says, "Don't make me get my hambone."