Safety Hazrd Comic Strips - Page 3

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88 Results for Safety Hazrd

View 21 - 30 results for safety hazrd comic strips. Discover the best "Safety Hazrd" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #newly designated, #fire warden, #bitter, #assignment, #regular job, #last one out, #safety, #fire, #panic, #flushing self, #exit door

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Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #genetic anamolies, #genetic engineering, #grow on, #hand growing on head, #new temp, #temp agnecy, #wear goggles

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Dogbert: The Dogbert temp agency uses genetic engineering to grow our own workers. The Boss: Isn't that dangerous? Dogbert: I wear safety goggles. Temp: Im the new temp. Alice: Um Im alice.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #germs, #safe from germs, #alice, #sneeze, #blows up, #germ safety device

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An under-the-weather Alice sits at her computer. Wally is wearing a protective head covering that looks like a large gas mask. Wally says, "I'm safe from your germs, Alice. You can sneeze all you want." Alice pulls the cap off the hose to Wally's gas mask as she begins to sneeze with a large sound of, "Aah..." Alice completes her sneeze into the hose of Wally's gas mask. Wally's head covering blows up like a huge balloon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety tip, #bend knees, #bang head, #art or science

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The Boss types, "Safety Tip of the Day:" The Boss continues typing, "Always bend your knees when banging your head against a wall." The Boss thinks, "I can't remember if managing is an art or a science."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business attire, #changing dress code, #clothing style, #sartorial alchemy lab, #might spark

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The Boss points to a slide and says, "Our dress code policy will go back to business attire." The Boss continues, "And I will keep changing the dress code until I find the clothing style that makes our profits go up!" Headline: Later, At The Sartorial Alchemy Lab. The Boss and Catbert are both wearing safety goggles. A shirt is being hung from a machine and The Boss is holding out a shoe. The Boss says, "Watch out. This might spark."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chronic mahjobbis, #puke, #doctor, #exam, #diagnosis, #user interfaces, #designed by engineers, #interface poisoning, #dead in a week, #medical

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The Boss points to a slide and says, "Our dress code policy will go back to business attire." The Boss continues, "And I will keep changing the dress code until I find the clothing style that makes our profits go up!" Headline: Later, At The Sartorial Alchemy Lab. The Boss and Catbert are both wearing safety goggles. A shirt is being hung from a machine and The Boss is holding out a shoe. The Boss says, "Watch out. This might spark."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadly safety flaw, #stock plunge, #massive layoffs, #ruined career, #dead customers, #hardest

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Asok: "Wally, I discovered a deadly safety flaw in our product. Who should I inform?" Wally: "No one. The stock would plunge and we'd have massive layoffs. Your career would be ruined." Asok: "But my negligence could cause the deaths of a dozen customers." Wally: "The first dozen is always the hardest."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #products saftyproblem, #murderer, #killer, #swallowed a squirrel, #scone

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Ask: "Alice, if I fail to blow the whistle on our product's safety product, I will be like a murderer!" Alice: "No, technically you'd be more like a killer, you wuss." Asok: "My guts feel like I swallowed a squirrel." Alice: "You have totally sucked the flavor out of this scone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety law, #ceo, #email ceo, #blah blah blah, #negligence, #people die, #products safety

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Asok: If you refuse to do something about our products safety flaw I will be forced to contact our CEO! The Boss: try it, Asok: This email will make him drop every thing and call me. CEO: Hundreds wil die....Blah, Blah , Blah...wahtever. forward the message to that pointy haired guy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fiduciary responsibilty, #maximize shareholder value, #quality, #safety, #top priority, #obeying law

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"Remember, quality is our top priority." Quality "Question: Is it more important than safety?" "Ooh... I forgot about that one." "Question: Is quality more important than obeying the law?" "Well, probably not." "If we could maximize shareholder value by selling lower quality items..." "Wouldn't we have a fiduciary responsibility to do it?" "Hmmm" "I'm sure it's in the top four." "What if we had to lie to achieve quality?"