Schedule Message Comic Strips - Page 3

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176 Results for Schedule Message

View 21 - 30 results for schedule message comic strips. Discover the best "Schedule Message" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #frivolous email, #bogs down network, #noticed, #too much communication, #about time

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Dilbert reads an e-mail message on his computer screen. The message says, "To: all users. From: network admin. Please refrain from frivolous e-mail. It bogs down the network." Dilbert types a message that says, "To: network admin. From: Dilbert. CC: all users. I agree!" Dilbert arrives at home and asks Dogbert, "Have you noticed there's too much communication in the world, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah, every day at about this time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1995's comic on:


Tags #never answered email, #secretary out, #message on hardcopy, #out of paprus, #chiseled on pyramid, #ufos?

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Dilbert peers out of his cubicle and says to the Boss as he walks by, "You never answered my e-mail." The Boss says, "My secretary is out, so there's nobody to print my e-mail for me. Bring me your message on hardcopy." Dilbert enters the Boss's office holding a small pyramid and says, "I was out of papyrus so I chiseled my message on a little pyramid." The Boss thinks, "Did he work alone or were UFOs involved?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #create illusion, #work long hours, #voice mails, #Dilbert, #in underwear, #obscene message, #group code

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Dogbert hands Dilbert the phone and says, "You can create the illusion that you work long hours by leaving voice mails for your boss at 4 a.m." Dilbert says into the phone, "Hi, this is Dilbert. It's 4 a.m. and I'm in my underwear and I thought of you . . .Oops . . . Erase . . . Oops . . ." As he presses the buttons on the phone it makes beeping noises. Dogbert's ears stand up in astonishment. Dogbert asks, "Did you just send an obscene message to your boss?" Dilbert looks at the phone and says, "No . . . I think I hit the group code."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #captain dogbert, #good news, #bad news, #hotting town early, #actually hitting town, #crash warning, #corporate jet, #ceo, #dog, #animals

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The corporate jet flies over the mountains. From the cockpit, Dogbert says, "This is Captain Dogbert with some good news and some bad news." Dogbert continues, "The good news is that we'll be hitting town ten minutes ahead of schedule . . ." Dogbert continues, "The bad news is we'll be hitting town."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #beta prodcut, #fix problems, #logically impossible, #schedule, #manager, #not engineer

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The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "How long will it take to fix any problems we find in our beta product?" Dilbert answers, "It is logically impossible to schedule for the unknown." The Boss says, "Try to think as a manager, not as an engineer." Dilbert says, "In that case, we'll fix the problems before we find them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 1995's comic on:


Tags #password, #not working, #help request line, #password doesn't work, #email message, #stinking network, #worthless

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Dilbert peers into a co-worker's cubicle and says, "My password for the network isn't working." The man says, "Fill out a help request online." Dilbert says, "I can't get online because my password doesn't work . . ." The man says, "Send me an e-mail message about it." Dilbert shouts angrily, "I can't send e-mail because I can't get on the stinkin' network!!!" The man says, "Geez, you're worthless . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #taken vacation, #use vacation days, #work 7 days a week, #year end review, #artificial project, #vacation target, #mutually exclusive goal, #frustration

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The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Alice, our records show that you haven't taken a vacation all year." The Boss continues, "Company policy requires you to use your vacation days." Alice says, "How?? You told me to work seven days a week to prepare the project for your boss's year-end review." Alice asks, "Do you want me to meet the artificial project target or the artificial vacation target?" Alice stands up and screams, "Hello!!! These are mutually exclusive goals!!! Hello!!!" Alice says, "Ooh . . . Sorry, I usually just think that last part in silent frustration." The Boss says, "Moving right along . . . Kudos to Wally for using all of his vacation days ahead of schedule." Alice looks furious. Wally says, "Get over it, Alice. We can't all be superstars."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new software, #installed, #send registartion, #modem, #credit card, #Number, #new products, #virus, #excellent marketing

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Dilbert sits at his computer. A message on the screen says, "Your new software is successfully installed. Do you want to send your registration info by modem?" Dilbert says, "Yes." A message says, "The software has found your credit card number and is placing orders for new products it thinks you need . . . Please wait." Dilbert says, "Uh." The message says, "Making room on your hard drive . . ." Dilbert says as he loads a rifle, "I can't tell if it's a virus or just excellent marketing." Dogbert holds the box of ammunition and adds, "Either way . . "

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 1996's comic on:


Tags #most diabolical work, #director, #human resources, #play, #hundreds employees, #evil mister, #strap a broom, #buttocks, #marketing, #more meetings, #five minutes, #business

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Catbert stands at his desk. He says, "Hee hee! This is my most diabolical work yet as director of human resources." Catbert continues, "Thanks to e-mail I can play with hundreds of employees at once!" Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "Uh-oh . . . A message from the evil Mister Catbert." The message says, "In order to reduce our janitorial expenses . . ." Alice thinks, "That's a phrase you don't want to see." Wally reads, "Every engineer will be required to strap a broom to his or her . . ." Wally walks down the hall with a broom attached to his back. Wally and Dilbert stand outside a conference room. Wally says to Dilbert, "On the positive side, marketing invites us to a lot more meetings now." A man inside the room says, "Five minutes; we're still eating cookies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1996's comic on:


Tags #first email, #message, #how to use email, #forgot watch, #change jobs

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Dilbert leans out his cubicle door and yells, "Hey, Wally! The Boss sent his first e-mail message!" Dilbert says to Wally who stands behind him, "And you said he wasn't bright enough to figure out how to use e-mail!" Wally asks, "What's his message?" Dilbert reads the message, "I forgot my watch. Does anybody know what time it is?" Wally says, "Time to change jobs."