Should Report Comic Strips - Page 3

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937 Results for Should Report

View 21 - 30 results for should report comic strips. Discover the best "Should Report" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dinner, #car, #drive, #woman, #shallow, #difference, #parking lot, #thump, #mighty, #chest

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Dilbert asks a woman, ". . . So, would you like to meet after work and go to dinner?" The woman asks, "What kind of car do you drive?" Dilbert says angrily, "Ugh! You women are all so shallow!! It should not make one bit of difference what kind of car I drive!!" The woman replies, "Except that it will help me find you in the parking lot . . . But you could just stand on top of it and thump your mighty chest."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #dinner, #love, #witch, #break the ice, #small talk, #witchcraft

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Dilbert walks next to a woman and thinks, "I can't believe she agreed to have dinner with me." In the restaurant, Dilbert pulls out the woman's chair and thinks, "I'm afraid to say anything to spoil this moment . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I guess I should say something to break the ice." The woman asks, "Did I mention that I'm a witch?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #note, #Dilbert, #potato, #glasses, #eyes, #contact, #lenses, #reference, #Dogbert, #lady di, #witch, #witch's curse

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The panel says, "Note: Some new readers of this strip may be confused by the presence of a character who looks very much like a potato. The following comparison should clear things up:" A caption pointing to a drawing of Dilbert the Frog says, "Dilbert (turned into a frog and disguised as Prince Charles)." A caption points to a potato. The panel says, "A handy rule for telling which one is a potato is to look for the presence of glasses. Although potatoes do have eyes, they are know to be vain and generally prefer contact lenses. Keep this reference guide with you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #infiltrated, #buckingham palace, #princess, #frog curse, #disguise, #Charlie, #breath, #smell, #flies, #lady di, #common person

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Dogbert looks at a clock on the wall and thinks, "By now Dilbert should have infiltrated Buckingham Palace." Dogbert thinks, "One kiss from the Princess and his 'frog curse' will be lifted . . . I just hope his disguise works . . ." Inside a tower, Lady Diana asks, "Charlie, why does your breath smell like flies?" Dilbert the Frog answers, "Uh . . . I had lunch with a common person today . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #Dilbert, #cult, #enforcers, #hideous, #cynical, #nature, #organization, #part

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Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor across from Dogbert. Bob says, "We heard you're forming a cult. Can we join?" Dogbert says, "Hmm . . ." Dogbert replies, "Yeah . . . I could use some enforcers to help me conceal the hideous and cynical nature of my organization. You're in . . ." Bob raises his arms over his head and yells, "Yes! We made it!" Dawn asks, "Bob, should we ask about the hideous part?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bob, #dawn, #dogberts, #security, #neutralize, #motives, #accident, #dinosaurs, #cult

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The caption says, "Bob and Dawn join Dogbert's cult." Dogbert says to Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs, "You two are in charge of security." Dogbert continues, "Your job is to neutralize anybody who questions my motives." Dawn says, "Actually, we have some questions of our own . . ." Dawn asks, "Or should we just neutralize ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "Make it look like an accident."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #programmed, #computer, #analyze, #situation, #predict, #female, #response, #sad, #movie, #date, #receive flowers, #corner it

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a desk. Dilbert says, "I programmed my computer to analyze any situation and predict the female response." Dilbert continues, "This should clarify a few things." Dilbert continues, "I'll type in 'watch sad movie.'" Dilbert says, "Result: crying." Dilbert says, "Now I'll try 'receive flowers.' Result: crying." Dilbert says, "Let's try 'date with Dilbert.' Result: crying." Dogbert says, "Boy, the truth gets vicious when you corner it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #dog catcher, #puppy, #penitentiary, #pal, #poodle

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Dog Catcher: Freeze!! I'm a dog catcher! What, no collar? You're going to the puppy penitentiary,pal! Dilbert: Your human turned you in? Poodle: He didn't think a pit bull should wear his hair this way.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #babysitter, #frankly, #bob, #eating, #children parents

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A man says to his wife, ". . . We should at least interview him. Nobody else even answered our ad for a babysitter." The woman says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Frankly, Bob, we're concerned that you might try to eat the children." Bob replies, "Well, of course, in that case there would be no charge for the evening." The husband says, "He's more than fair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bluffing, #control, #don't, #wing, #my, #husband, #dead, #parties, #jury, #trials, #steamroller, #porsche

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The caption says, "What if people had tails? First of all, it would look darned silly." A tail protrudes from Dilbert's pants. The caption says, "Only the truly unobservant would lose at poker." Dilbert sits at a table playing poker with a man. Dilbert thinks, "He's bluffing." The man's tail wags. He thinks, "Control . . . Don't wag . . ." The caption says, "Jury trials would be simpler." A woman sits in the witness stand and says, ". . . Then I found my husband dead." The judge and a lawyer stare at her wagging tail. The caption says, "And parties would be even more awkward." Dilbert talks to a man with a bandage on his head and his arm in a sling. The man says, "That's when I learned that if you drive a Porsche, you should never make fun of a man on a steamroller." Dilbert's tail wags as he replies, "Tragic . . . Really."