Source Of Stress Comic Strips - Page 3
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108 Results for Source Of Stress
View 21 - 30 results for source of stress comic strips. Discover the best "Source Of Stress" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 16,
2000
Tags #the psychologist, #merger pending, #stress, #what merger?
Transcript
The psychologist tells Alice: "It's normal to have stress when a merger is pending." Stunned, Alice asks: "What merger?" The psychologist says: "There I go again!"
Sunday March 19,
2000
Tags #dozen bugs, #bugs in software, #fix for 20k, #defective porduct, #evil euphria, #no choice, #making fortune, #single source tsrategy
Transcript
Dilbert tells a salesman: "We found a dozen bugs in the software you sold us." The salesman answers: "We can fix these bugs for $20,000. Dilbert is shocked: "What?" Dilber says: "You can't charge us to fix you own defective product!" The salesman laughs boisterously. He explains: "Sorry...I was overcome by an evil euphoria." Dilbert says: "I guess we have to pay. We have no choice!" Reaching for his cell-phone, the salesman says: "Excuse me." The salesman speaks into his cell-phone: "Put more bugs in the software! I'm making a fortune out here!" Dilbert thinks: "I'm starting to question our single source strategy."
Thursday July 06,
2000
Tags #filing system, #reorganized files, #stress is gone, #lulu, #meeting, #boss, #Dilbert, #business
Transcript
LULU: My project was in a death spiral. I leapt into action and reorganized my filing system. The Boss: Did that help? LULU: My stress is gone!
Friday July 14,
2000
Tags #rendered useless, #stress, #bad management, #secret, #quiet, #blare
Transcript
Asok says to the Boss and Dilbert, "This week I was rendered useless by the stress of bad management." Dilbert says to Asok, "That's something we only say in the cafeteria." Asok says to the Boss, "You're doing a terrific job!" Dilbert says to Asok, "Try to find a middle range."
Saturday July 15,
2000
Tags #stress, #use as excuse, #not exercising, #made me the man
Transcript
Asok says to Wally, "I got the stress everyone talks about. What should I do?" Wally answers, "Try using it as an excuse for not exercising." Asok asks Wally, "So...it's a good thing?" Wally replies, "It made me the man I am today."
Tuesday November 28,
2000
Tags #beef eating, #just stress, #mandatory cpr, #middle aged men, #training for emplyees, #pear shaped
Transcript
Catbert says to Dilbert and Asok the Intern, "The company will be holding mandatory CPR training for all employees." Asok says, "GAA!!" The Boss looks on as Asok says to Catbert, "I am surrounded by pear-shaped, beef-eating, middle-aged men who I prefer not to touch." Catbert and The Boss look on as Asok rubs his chest and says, "Uh-oh... I hope that's just stress."
Thursday January 11,
2001
Tags #motivation fairy, #work hard, #gain respect, #peers, #avoid stress, #out live peers, #hard work
Transcript
THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: Hovering in the air near Wally, the Fairy says, "If you work hard, you will gain the respect of your peers." Wally says to the hovering Motivation Fairy, "If I avoid the stress of hard work, I will out-live my peers." The Fairy asks, "Hard work can kill me?" Wally answers, "If you're lucky."
Sunday January 28,
2001
Tags #projects fail, #have in common, #points to boss, #honest, #sneezes, #figuring the problem
Transcript
Alice, The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Asok the Intern are all sitting around a table. The Boss says, "We've got to figure out why all our projects fail." The Boss looks at Alice and asks, "What do all our projects have in common?" Behind The Boss' back, Wally points with both hands at The Boss. The Boss says to Wally, "It might not be obvious." Behind The Boss' back, Alice points with both hands at The Boss. Looking at Alice, The Boss says, "But if we're honest with ourselves..." Behind The Boss' back, Wally holds up a piece of paper with a large arrow on it pointing at The Boss. The Boss says, "We can find the source of the problem." Alice says, "Ah-ah-ah-" as she begins to sneeze. Wally scratches his head with a piece of paper to the sounds of "scratch scratch." Alice sneezes, "Ach-itz-you!!" The Boss says, "Gesundheit." The Boss asks, "So, does anyone know what the problem is?" Alice looks on as Wally says to The Boss, "I've noticed that Dilbert doesn't work as hard as I think he should."
Monday July 09,
2001
Tags #understaffed, #over worked, #stress counselor, #another manager, #massage, #meeting, #alice, #business
Transcript
Alice sits looking frazzled as the Boss says, "You're understaffed and overworked." Two people appear behind the Boss as he continues, "So I hired a stress counselor and another manager to glare at you." The stress counselor massages the Boss' back and says, "Relax...Deep breaths...There..." The manager stands over Alice glaring at her.
Friday May 09,
2003
Tags #revenue estimates, #research, #too late, #higher revenue, #stress, #flashlight, #eyes, #science
Transcript
The Boss pokes his head in to Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Double the revenue estimates and make sure the research supports it." Dilbert responds, "But.. but... it's too late! The research is done, and it won't support higher revenue!" Dilbert is sitting on a doctor's table, shivering. The doctor flashes a light on Dilbert's face and says, "Your stress is from a combination of drive-by- management and a flashlight in your eyes."