Startup Culture Comic Strips - Page 3
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View 21 - 30 results for startup culture comic strips. Discover the best "Startup Culture" comics from Dilbert.com.
Boss: Our stock is down 49% and we have no innovative products in the pipeline. CEO: Slash the R&D budget, fire 9,000 employees, and buy a sexy start-up company that we can run into the ground. Boss: We did all of that last year. CEO: Did I already tell the employees to work smarter? Boss: Yes. They thought you were being ironic.
Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Boss: Did you find the snake in your cubicle? Dilbert: What the...? Boss: I put it there because I'm trying to motivate you with a culture of fear. Dilbert: That only works in the short term! Boss: A leader takes the first step without knowing where the next step will be. So get to work, and by they way, one of the urinals is electrified. It's only set to stun, so don't be a baby about it. Wally: His office plant is clear.
Boss: We need to foster more of a start-up culture to drive innovation. Dilbert: So we get to dress casually, work flex hours, feel that our work is valued, and get equity in the company. Boss: What would be the name of a culture where people work hard but don't get any of those things you just mentioned.
Boss: I'm looking for ideas on how we can improve our corporate culture. Alice: You could start by being less of a micromanaging d-bag who hides like a Higgs-boson whenever we need a decision. Boss: That didn't help. Alice: Will honesty still be taboo in the new culture?
Dilbert: ...and that's my idea for a start-up. What do you think? Dogbert: I'm not a big fan of other people being successful, so I'll say the idea is terrible. Dilbert: Remind me why I talk to you. Dogbert: You're a serial entreprenidiot.
Interview at a start-up Interviewer: We only hire people who fit into our awesome start-up culture. Dilbert: No problem. I can be a self-conscious hipster if you think that's what keeps the lights on. Interviewer: I kind of do. Dilbert: What would I need besides an earring and headphones?
CEO: We need to foster a culture of innovation. Does anyone have an idea how we can do that? Dilbert: You could give us less work and you could stop criticizing every idea we have. CEO: Does anyone have a suggestion that isn't ridiculous?
Boss: We bought a Silicon Valley start-up just to get the engineers. Be gentle with them. They're socially awkward and they haven't seen a woman in four years. Coworker: Who's up for a debate about scalable architecture followed by some spawning.
Catbert: No one looks at resumes anymore. Now we use special algorithms to see where your personality fits in our culture. Man: That process sounds like a steaming pile of stupidity that will beat itself to death in a few years. Catbert: I'll start you in engineering. You'll fit right in.