Stupid Questions Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

455 Results for Stupid Questions

View 21 - 30 results for stupid questions comic strips. Discover the best "Stupid Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #finance troll, #bad time, #report, #accounting, #Dilbert, #witch, #figures

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This must be the company accounting department. I... I need to ask some questions about this b-budget report. Dilbert: Is this a bad time for you? Accounting Witch: Always.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #witch, #accounting department, #Dilbert, #chains, #man, #woman, #gender, #sex & gender, #figures, #Number

View Transcript

Transcript

A witch sitting on a throne points at Dilbert and yells, "Fool! Why have you come to the accounting department?!!" Dilbert is wrapped in chains and guarded by a troll holding a spear. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . I had some questions, sir . . . Ma'am . . . Er, sir?" Dilbert asks, "Are you a man or woman?" The witch replies, "In accounting, it doesn't really matter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bradley, #Dilbert, #valid, #analyst, #witch, #finances, #accounting, #budget report

View Transcript

Transcript

Witch: So... You've come to the accounting department for an explanation of the budget report, aye? Unchain him, Bradley. Normally we would torture and kill you for questioning our report. Dilbert: But you realized that my questions are valid? Witch: No. I'm promoting Bradley. You're my new analyst.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cars, #car-phonebooth, #natural, #solution, #coins, #inventor

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "It's NOT a stupid idea." Dilbert explains, "You see, people who don't own cars are missing out on the prestige of using car phones." Dilbert has turned a phone booth on its side and added wheels, a steering wheel and a drivers seat. Dilbert continues, "The car-phonebooth is a natural solution . . . Granted, it uses a lot of coins." Dogbert walks away.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #irrational, #love, #doc, #literature, #stupid, #guy-thing, #therapy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to him taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . And I've had this irrational love for hardware stores as long as I can remember." Dilbert continues, "I mean . . I LOVE them. I ACTUALLY love them. You gotta help me, doc." The psychiatrist says, "I've heard of this . . . I think the literature refers to it as 'a stupid guy-thing.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #bob, #custody, #invention, #dinosaurs, #will, #death

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur asks Dogbert, "What did Dilbert leave you in his will?" Dogbert replies, "He stiffed me." Dogbert holds a device and explains, "All I got is custody of this stupid invention of his . . . I don't even know what it does." Bob says, "I get it . . . He 'stiffed' you . . . Hee-hee!" Dogbert says, "Try to stay with me, Bob."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1990's comic on:


Tags #judicial proceedings, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #valuable, #society, #free, #jury duty, #lives, #letter, #civic duty

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert reads a letter and says, "What a stupid waste of my valuable time." Dilbert says, "It's your civic duty. It's the small dues you pay for living in a just and free society." Dogbert replies, "Big whoopee." Dilbert says, "And you get to play God with other people's lives." Dogbert says, "Well, they should say that in the letter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #rambling, #questions, #focus, #johnson, #fetch, #stick, #achieve, #sacrificing, #customer, #the boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, the staff meeting is over. Does anybody have any meaningless rambling questions? Johnson?" Johnson asks, "How can we work as a team to achieve total quality without sacrificing customer focus?" The Boss asks, "How many people would like to see me make Johnson fetch this stick?" Everyone raises their hands.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #questions, #booking, #vacation, #money, #hole, #ground, #clyde, #exactly

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in a hole and says to Dogbert, "I'll admit, I should have asked more questions before booking our vacation to Clyde Canyon." Dilbert continues, "But it's not as if we're just throwing our vacation money into a . . . a . . ." Dogbert says, "Hole in the ground?" Dilbert responds, "Exactly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #vacation, #hated, #minute, #year, #stupid, #armchair, #Food

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home wearing a backpack. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "We have completed our obligation to take a vacation." Dogbert walks in the door and says, "As usual, we hated every minute of it." Dilbert sits in a chair and Dogbert sits on his leg. Dilbert asks, "Why do we do it every year?" Dogbert replies, "My theory is that you're stupid."