Talked About Himself Comic Strips - Page 3
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Dilbert arrives home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I got transferred to the Glickman Nuclear Power Project." Dogbert asks, "Aren't you worried about radiation?" Dilbert replies, "My boss says the last safety inspection was quite favorable." Dogbert asks, "What were his EXACT words?" Dilbert answers, ". . . The inspectors gave a glowing report." Dogbert says, "Maybe you'll mutate into something smarter."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors under a tree. Dilbert asks, "Do you ever think about how delicate the balance of nature is?" Dilbert continues, "Just one little change in our environment and we're all dead." Dogbert replies, "Yeah . . ." Dogbert continues, "Suppose everybody stopped throwing rice at weddings and started throwing potatoes." Dilbert says, "It's too horrible to imagine."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided it's time to stop talking about world hunger and start DOING something!" Dilbert continues, "Let others debate policies. My time to act is now." Dogbert asks, "You're going to buy a smarmy bumper sticker, aren't you?" Dilbert replies, "Darn straight."
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Did I ever tell you what dogs believe about the universe?" Dogbert explains, "We believe in infinite parallel universes, all slightly different." Dogbert continues, "For example, in our universe, Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off to demonstrate his love for a woman." Dogbert continues, "But, in a parallel universe, Van Gogh loses the ear in a tragic toe-nail clipping accident . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Vinnie clips the nail, and it just goes flyin' up and rips his ear clean off." Dilbert says, "In yet another universe, maybe he had a dog who talked his ear off." Dogbert replies, "This is why dogs rarely discuss their beliefs."
Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. A man asks, "Well, Dilbert, will our idea work from a technical perspective?" Dilbert thinks, "I wasn't listening . . . Now I'll have to babble about irrelevant technical things until they lose consciousness." The people are all asleep. Dilbert says, "And in conclusion, never underestimate the power of technology."
Dilbert, whose arm is in a sling, says to Dogbert, "I got hit by a rented car." Dogbert asks, "Hertz?" Dilbert replies, "Not any more, but thanks for asking." Dogbert says as he walks away, "That's about all the sympathy I can muster for one day."
Dogbert: Santa! Santa: Merry Christmas, Dogbert! I'm glad you're up... I'm having a little trouble with your christmas list. In your letter you say you want to be named supreme ruler of earth. Dogbert: Is that a problem? Santa: Frankly, my workshop is more oriented toward small consumer goods... Dogbert: Can I have an elf? Dilbert: Has, G.I. Joe taken up ballet, or is this something I don't want to know about?
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm thinking of getting a tattoo." Dilbert continues, "On my shoulder . . . Something tasteful yet timeless. I don't want to regret it later." Dilbert asks, "Any suggestions?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'Kick me?'"
Dilbert sits on the floor by the fireplace. Dogbert says, "I'm starting to write an unauthorized biography about you." Dogbert continues, "It's kind of a 'pet and tell' expose full of startling revelations." Dilbert asks, "Who would be startled by MY life?" Dogbert replies, "I think YOU will be."
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And women have always played hard to get . . ." The caption says, "Dilbert and Eve." Dilbert and Eve stand behind a bush. Dilbert asks, "Then how about a date next year?" Eve replies, "I'd love to, but I don't have a thing to wear." Both of them are naked.