Transfer Mode Technology Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for transfer mode technology comic strips. Discover the best "Transfer Mode Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #percent, #subradiante, #latched, #obscure, #engineering, #fact, #painful, #implications, #microfleems, #blows, #fascinating, #acknowledge, #grasp, #technology, #issues

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss asks Dilbert, "Did you know that twenty percent of all microfleems are subradiante?" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh. The Boss has latched onto some obscure engineering fact." Dilbert thinks, "This is going to be painful." The Boss says, "Just think of the implications. It means eighty percent of microfleems are NOT subradiante." Dilbert crawls under his desk thinking, "Maybe I can hide under the desk until this blows over." The Boss continues, "Don't you think it's fascinating? I mean, what with the implications and all . . ." Dilbert replies, "Okay, okay. I acknowledge your incredible grasp of technology issues." The Boss walks away thinking, "It almost makes me curious what a microfleem is."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #report, #sentence, #micro-robotics, #dead-end, #technology, #opposite, #confusing, #senseless, #scenario, #win-win

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Good report . . . But add a sentence that says micro-robotics is a dead-end technology." Dilbert replies, "But that's the exact opposite of my point! If I add that, the whole report would be a confusing and senseless waste of time!" The Boss says, "That's okay. We just won't let anybody else see it." Dilbert asks, "Is this a win-win scenario?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bank of ethel, #ethel, #Dilbert, #paying, #credit, #Card, #automatically, #transfer, #account, #craze, #elsewhere

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A teller at the Bank of Ethel says, "Next victim." Dilbert approaches the window and says, "You charged me a fee for paying my credit card bill a day late." The woman asks, "So?" Dilbert asks, "Why don't your computers automatically transfer money from my checking account instead of charging a penalty?" The teller replies, "Frankly, we're not much into the 'customer service' craze." The teller continues, "We prefer to set little traps so customers get hit with unexpected penalties." Dilbert says angrily, "Well!! I think I'll just take my business elsewhere!" The teller says, "You're annoying me. That's a hundred dollar penalty!" Dilbert walks out of the bank wearing only his underwear. He thinks, "I don't think I can even claim a moral victory here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jury, #trial, #Dogbert, #Dilbert

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Dogbert says to the jury, "Although the insanity defense does not apply to my client, we have something just as good." Dogbert points to Dilbert and explains, "My client is an 'engineer savant.' He understands technology but nothing else." Dogbert pulls Dilbert's foot out from under the table and says, "As evidence, I submit my client's white socks, complete with the sock protector and auxiliary writing tools."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #troll, #cave, #bureaucracy, #computer, #business

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Dilbert enters a cave. A door above the sign says "Bureaucracy." Dilbert tells a troll sitting at a desk, "I need to buy an upgrade for my computer." The troll growls. The troll replies, "First, you must write a business case and get five signatures." Another troll jumps onto Dilbert's back. The troll sitting at the desk continues, "Get bids from nine vendors." Another troll approaches Dilbert. The troll continues, "All vendors must be approved by a vote of the vendor approval committee." The troll lists, ". . . Purchase order . . . Budget transfer . . . Legal review . . . Accounting classification . . . Inventory . . ." Several trolls cling to Dilbert's body. The troll explains, "These steps are necessary to prevent employees from doing something uneconomical." Dilbert arrives at home with several trolls clinging to his body. Dogbert asks, ". . . So you suggested a process 'quality audit'?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah, that's the one clinging to my buttocks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonian division, #launching staellites, #technology, #elbonians

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The Boss: Our Elbonian division was the low bidder for launching French satellites into orbit. Im putting you personally in charge Make sure they use the right technology. Elbonia OOPS elbonian: I hope those things aren't expensive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #less you know, #happier, #struggle, #computer, #naked, #clueless, #annoying, #feeling good, #technology

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RatBert: "The less you know, the happier you are." "While you struggle with that computer, I'm naked, clueless and f-e-e-e-ling good!" Dilbert: "You're really annoying me now." Ratbert: "Totally naked! Isn't that a hoot?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #patron saint, #technology, #heal broken hearts, #demons, #stupidity, #spiritual side

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Dogbert: I declare myself the patron saint of technology. I heal broken technology with my right paw and I use the scepter to drive out the demons of stupidity. Dilbert: I don't think Ive seen your spiritual side before. Dogbert: OUT! OUT!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #saint dogbert, #technology, #demons, #stupidity, #make command, #easy to remeber, #software developer

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Saint Dogbert seeks out technology that has been possessed by the demons of stupidity. He Happens across a software developer. Man: I'll make the command easier to remember like CTRL- ALT-F4-DEL" and if they forget that they can just edit the source code in command. com perfect Dogbert: out! out!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broken fax, #copier, #electronic mail, #incompatible software, #lan rewired, #no toner, #technology

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"I tried to fax it but our fax machine is broken." "I would send it by modem but my communication software is incompatible with my new system software upgrade." "No...our electronic mail systems are incompatible." "Mail it?" "I've only got one copy and our copier is out of toner." "Well, normally I could print another one but our LAN is being rewired." "I could just read it to you." "I describe how technology improves our lives by...yeah, I'll hold." "Hello?" "Dang."