Useless Jargon Comic Strips - Page 3

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169 Results for Useless Jargon

View 21 - 30 results for useless jargon comic strips. Discover the best "Useless Jargon" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 1998's comic on:


Tags #fill out form, #rules, #helpless, #defeated atitude, #excellent job, #quitting time, #useless form

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Dilbert follows Carol as she walks away. Dilbert holds a piece of paper. Dilbert says, "Why should I fill out this form? It would take an hour and it doesn't even apply to me." Carol says, "I don't make the rules. I just apply them with a helpless and defeated attitude." Dilbert says, "You're doing an excellent job." Carol looks at her watch and says, "Seven more hours until quitting time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #transfer sales dept, #scapegoat, #make useless pordcuts, #low sales, #good prodcuts, #perfect wrld

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The boss says, to the scapegoat, "I'm transferring you to the sales department, scapegoat." The boss says, "Then we can make useless products and blame you for our low sales." The scapegoat says, "Wouldn't it be better to make good products?" The boss says, "In a perfect world."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #eat a sandwhich, #edges of bread, #anti crust

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The boss sits in a meeting with Wally and Asok. the boss says, "Before I eat a sandwich, I always remove the useless edges of the bread." The boss says, "that tells you what kind of manager I am." Aosk says, "You're the anti-crust?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #rendered useless, #stress, #bad management, #secret, #quiet, #blare

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Asok says to the Boss and Dilbert, "This week I was rendered useless by the stress of bad management." Dilbert says to Asok, "That's something we only say in the cafeteria." Asok says to the Boss, "You're doing a terrific job!" Dilbert says to Asok, "Try to find a middle range."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2000's comic on:


Tags #clear mind, #thoughts, #forward basis, #market space, #done practicing

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As Dilbert knocks at his door, The Boss thinks, "I must clear my mind of all thoughts." The Boss says, "At the end of the day we'll be in a market space on a going forward basis." The Boss says, "Om... Om... Page..." Dilbert says, "I'll come back when you're done practicing being useless."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #oil wells, #albanian wild life preserve, #extinction, #seven species, #useless, #species, #eat and grunt

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The boss is giving a presentation as he points to a slide of a dead animal. The boss says, "Our oil wells in the Elbonian Wildlife Preserve have caused the extinction of seven species." The boss continues, "Luckily, they were useless species who did nothing but eat and grunt." Wally is sitting beside Dilbert, eating a doughnut and grunting, "Mm..mm..mm.."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2001's comic on:


Tags #travel request, #apporved, #otherwise, #being useless, #olympic sport

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Dilbert approaches the Boss. He asks, "Did you look at my travel request?" The Boss replies, "Not yet." The Boss continues, "Assume it's approved unless I tell you otherwise." Dilbert replies, "It's too bad that being useless isn't an Olympic sport."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #meeting to discuss, #employee retention, #employees quit, #useless meetings, #reasons, #first meetings

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The Boss comes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We're having a meeting to discuss employee retention." Dilbert replies, "Tell them that employees quit because there are too many useless meetings." The Boss says, "We won't be getting into reasons at the first meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #need approval, #equipment, #installed

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "I need your approval for this expense. The equipment is already here and installed." Dilbert continues, "I left out the description because you wouldn't understand it anyway." The Boss says to Catbert, "There's a fine line between managing and being totally useless." Catbert responds, "Luckily it looks the same."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #50 management, #interpretor, #jargin, #languages, #mumble, #mumble mumble, #pointy haired dialct

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "...And the most critical part of your objective is..." All that comes from The Boss' mouth is, "Mumble, mumble, mumble." Dilbert turns and asks, "What?" The Boss continues, "Mumble, mumble, mumble." Dilbert gets up and says, "I'll be right back. I need an interpreter who speaks mumble." Dilbert comes back with a coworker, whom he introduces to The Boss. Dilbert says, "This is Allen. He speaks fifty management languages including jargon, weaselease and mumble." The Boss turns to Allen and says, "Mumble, mumble, mumble." Allen replies, "Mumble, mumble, mumble." Allen reports to Dilbert, "I'm a bit rusty with the pointy-haired dialect but I think he wants you to line dance in a gazebo."