Violence Comic Strips - Page 3

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48 Results for Violence

View 21 - 30 results for violence comic strips. Discover the best "Violence" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer, sitting, asking, money, present, punch, violence, pain, flying, technology

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Asok says, "I'm collecting money for our pointy-haired boss' birthday." Punch! The boss says, "How much did we get so far?" Asok says, "Well, nothing you could send by FedEx."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags violence, punching, pain, meeting, angry, economy, business

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Alice says, "I hear you have an MBA, just like the jerks who ruined the economy." Alice says, "I'm going to punch you so hard that it hurts everyone who has the same degree." Dilbert says, "What as that hideous noise?" Man says, "Ow!!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lazy, new employee, youth, argument, violence, pain, victory

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Wally says, "And obviously I can't do anything until our floom vendor updates the glimrods." Man says, "I'll bitspew a protopatch to your glimrod array and you can get right to work." Sometimes a young engineer challenges the dominant work-avoider in the herd. Wally says, "Oh, really?" Wally says, "Too bad the router isn't configured to handle protopatch server traffic." Man says, "I'll remotely reconfigure the router to think the protopatch server is a hexadulian data compressor." Wally says, "If you do that, you'll crash the firewall and expose everyone at this table to identity theft!" Tina says, "Stop that! I have enough problems!" Punch! Wally says, "Never go network on me, kid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, threat, violence, meeting, sales quota, deformed, business

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Ratbert: VP of Sales Ratbert says, "Humphrey, some might say you're below your sales quota because the economy is soft." Ratbert says, "But I say it's because I haven't beaten you enough with this wooden spoon." Ratbert says, "You know what I'm tired of hearing? 'Not my good eye! Not my good eye!'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing, harmful, product, military, injury, excited, violence, business

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Marketing Man says, "How do we market a product that is known to trigger dispondency and self-mutilation?" Woman says, "So?It has a military application?" Soldier says, "I thought it was just software, but before I knew it I was stabbing myself." General says, "Get me a trillion of there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product, idea, violence, hitting, war, weapon

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The boss says, "Our product is so unsafe that the military wants to use it as a weapon." The boss says, "Now the only way to satisfy our fiduciary duty to stockholders is to foment war to boost our sales." Elbonian says, "Hey, why'd you punch a hole in my hat?!!" Alice says, "That's a little thing we call marketing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags angry, plan, war, violence, screaming, rejecting, criticism

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Elbonian says, "The imperialists punched a hole in my hat!!! Revenge will be ours!" Elbonian says, "Walla-walla walla-walla walla!!!" Elbonian says, "We don't do that." Elbonian says, "Mitten bump?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags eating, annoyed, angry, violence, hitting, punching, arrogant

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The foodie with a huge forehead Man says, Mmmm, a pomme de terre frite with sea salt and just a hint of rosemary." Punch! Alice says, "That was a French Fry. And much like yourself, it was a salted."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, bleak, pessimistic, doom, beating, angry, economy, violence, business

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Strategy Meeting Man says, "The weak economy is limiting our strategic options." Man says, "I won't sugarcoat anything." Man says, "Option one is a long slide to oblivion." Oblivion Man says, "Option two is a death spiral." Man says, "Our new company logo is a man getting sucked into a toilet." Man says, "Our revised mission statememnt is 'Forage during daylight. Hide at night.'" Man says, "I'll pass out clubs, and you can decide among yourselves how to downsize by fifty percent." Wally says, "Is it just me or was it better when they sugarcoated?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags steam, confusion, violence, punching, computer, crazy, technology

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Alice says, "My computer kept locking up, so I had to let off some steam." The Boss says, "You can't fix your computer by punching it!" Alice says, "Why would I punch my computer? That's crazy." Asok says, "Alice?"