Wall Comic Strips - Page 3
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View 21 - 30 results for wall comic strips. Discover the best "Wall" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dogbert walks down the sidewalk and a man standing against a building whispers, "Pssst! Dog! Would you like to purchase Lenin's body?" The man continues, "Twenty bucks. He's in great shape . . . The king of commies . . . Not available in stores." Back at home, Dogbert pushes a man's body against the wall. Dilbert asks, ". . . And you talked him down to ten dollars?" Dogbert asks, "Do you like it better against this wall?"
Dogbert and Ratbert sit on a stone wall. Ratbert says, "All week I've been watching violent movies at the lab." Ratbert continues, "A group of parents are studying me to see if I become inured to violence." Dogbert asks, "Are you?" Ratbert replies, "Yeah. I'm planning to gnaw the parents to death tomorrow."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a stone wall in the park. Dilbert says, "The problem with modern society is that we have no traditions." Dilbert continues, "We should create some traditions for future generations." Dogbert asks, "How do you create a tradition?" Dilbert replies, "Well, you just do something ridiculous every year at the same time." Dilbert continues, "Eventually other people join in and then it's a tradition." Dogbert says, "Ooh, how about 'Annual Nose-Sausage Day'? You dress in colorful robes and stick sausages in your nose!" Dilbert says, "Yes, yes . . . And we'll do a squirrel dance and shout 'kaloo--kalah' at the sun!" Dilbert says, "Or maybe not." Dogbert says, "You lost me with the squirrel dance."
Dilbert stands in front of an overhead projector. He says, ". . . Therefore, I recommend that we switch to the new technology . . . Any questions?" A man sitting at the conference table asks, "Dilbert, are you willing to bet your career on this?" Dilbert replies, "Yes, I would definitely bet my career." Dilbert continues, "You would too if you had MY career." Dilbert places a transparency on the projector and says, "I have a view graph which anticipated your question." Dilbert points to the diagram and says, "This chart tracks my declining sense of self-worth as my career progresses." Dilbert continues, "At the low-point, here, I'm reduced to answering imbecilic questions while pointing a little stick at the wall." Dilbert arrives at home and Dogbert asks, "How did the presentation go?" Dilbert replies, "There's such a thing as being too prepared."
Dilbert says, "Hey, Wally, how did you get a roof for your cubicle?" Wally replies, "This stuff is modular. You just take some idiot's wall and make it your ceiling." Dilbert asks, "By any chance, do you know what happened to MY wall?" Wally asks, "What did it look like?"
Dilbert walks into a computer store called the "Electron Hut." Dilbert tells the salesman, "I'm looking for a p-connect adapter post." The clerk replies, "We don't have any." Dilbert points to the wall and says, "There's a whole shelf of them right behind you." The salesclerk replies, "They're only five cents apiece. I can't waste my time selling them." Dilbert says, "I'm the only customer in the store! Besides, why do you stock something you don't want to sell?" The clerk throws the posts at Dilbert's head and says, "Here! Take three! And stop wasting my time!" Dilbert kneels on the floor and picks up the posts. The salesman asks, "While you're here, have you seen our fine line of computers?"
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss, Alice and Wally. Dilbert says, "I boosted the power on the pointer pen light so it's easier to see on the wall." Dilbert says, "Look how strong it is now." Dilbert turns the pen on. The beam from the pen burns the hair off the tops of the Boss's and Alice's heads. The Boss says, "Let me see that. I've got a few things to point out." Alice says, "Next."
The Boss points to a wall of circular openings and tells Dilbert, "I borrowed a Japanese work custom - sleeping tubes!" The Boss explains, "No more wasted time commuting. If you keel over from exhaustion we'll just cram you into a sleep tube." Dilbert asks, "Which tube is mine?" The Boss replies, "You don't get a personal tube unless you're employee of the week."
Carol: I sit innocently in my low-wall clerical style cubicle. Man: One copy, no staple. Carol: Men with Ivy-league degrees walk past the copier and ask me to make copies. I am a secretary with a crossbow.
Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "Today you will learn how to deal with people who have personality defects." The caption says, "Case 1: Todd laughs nervously at every one of his own comments." Todd says, "Don't hold it against me! Hee hee!" The caption says, "Remedy: Todd must be relocated to a distant planet." A space shuttle leaves a planet. On the planet's surface, Todd says, "It sure is lonely! Hee hee! The caption says, "Case 2: Allen stares at you like a zombie for long periods before responding to questions." The caption says, "Remedy: Allen must be paired with Virginia (Case 3) who fills all quiet spots with inane chatter." Dogbert pushes Virgina toward Allen. The caption says, "Case 4: Matt speaks slowly about amazingly boring topics." Matt says, "I . . . ate . . . a . . . pickle . . ." The caption says, "Remedy: Matt's head can be outfitted with a reading stand." A man reads a book that rests on Matt's head. Matt says, "I . . . like . . . pickles . . ." The caption says, "Case 5: An engineer. Remedy: Very quietly seal him in his own cubicle." Dogbert builds a brick wall in the door of Dilbert's cubicle.