Abyss Of Total Nothingness Comic Strips - Page 3

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65 Results for Abyss Of Total Nothingness

View 21 - 30 results for abyss of total nothingness comic strips. Discover the best "Abyss Of Total Nothingness" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #not caring what others think, #total uslessness, #key to success, #discussion, #employees, #hoping it goes, #business

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Wally: Asok, the key to success is not caring what others think of you. Coincidentally, that is also the key to being totally useless. The important thing is that other people can't tell which way you're hoping it goes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #efficiency experts, #stress, #consultant, #booze muhkidney, #travel work, #unhealthy food, #total failure, #sleepless nights, #power point slides, #business

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Consultant: All I do is travel, work, and eat unhealthy food. I'm a total failure at managing my own life, and yet people hire me for business advice. I haven't slept since October. Dilbert: I was told there would be PowerPoint slides. Consultant from Booze Muhkidney

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #movies, #clever video, #create video, #internet, #go viral, #marketing experts, #engineer, #more passion, #loser attitude, #viral video, #Entertainment, #technology, #engineering

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Boss: I want you to create a clever video about our product for the Internet. But make sure it goes viral or you're a total failure. Dilbert: No one can predict what goes viral. Marketing experts fail at this sort of thing 99% of the time. I'm an engineer with no relevant skills for this assignment. Boss: Maybe you could succeed if you had more passion. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I need a rational boss, not passion! Boss: That's sort of a loser attitude. Asok: Hey, my video is going viral!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #computer programmers, #international economic integration, #unemployed, #immortal, #preventer of information, #services, #outsiurced, #buzzkill

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services, and I am immortal! Dilbert: Actually, in a few years your function will be either distributed across existing organizations or outsourced. Mordac: Well, that was a total buzzkill.

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Share March 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #hunter gather roots, #office equipment, #ouge, #power cords, #rummages through trah, #trash into gold, #upgarde

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Coworker: Do you mind if I rummage through the trash in the technology lab? Dilbert: Um, okay. Coworker: I'm getting back to my hunter-gatherer roots. Score! These old power cords sell on Ebay for up to $3 apiece. Ha ha! I'm a genius who turns trash into gold! How's that compare to whatever you're doing here. Dilbert: Well, I'm removing valuable features from our product so we can.. gouge our customers with the... upgrade. Coworker: Wow. Your life is a total waste. Dilbert: Not if I sell the power cord.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2013's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #software changes, #reflexively disagree, #reasonable

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Dilbert: Did you make the software changes I suggested? Coworker: No, because I reflexively disagree with ever suggestion that anyone ever makes. Dilbert: You're very reasonable. Coworker: No, I'm a total jer... wait, what did you just do there?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fraudulent analysis, #total betrayal, #shareholders, #rational beghavior

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Dilbert: I finished the fraudulent analysis you requested to support the decision you already made. It's a total betrayal of shareholders and a slap in the face for anyone who values rational behavior. Boss: Thanks. That's exactly what I wanted. Dilbert: You're welcome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #clothes, #new look, #black turtleneck, #jeans, #juice bag, #insult, #hulu, #Opinion

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The Boss says, "My new look is a black turtleneck and old man jeans. What do you think?" Carol says, "You look like a total juice bag." The Boss says, "That's good, right?" Carol says, "What answer gets me back to watching my shows on Hulu?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #introduce, #ellen, #useless, #annoyed, #waste, #protein, #network, #business

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Dilbert says, "?And this is Ellen. She has no legitimate reason for attending this meeting." Dilbert says, "I assume she's just nosey, or maybe it's a newworking sort of thing." Dilbert says, "And this guy is a total waste of protein." Ellen says, "Maybe next time we should introduce ourselves."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #crying, #afraid, #nervous, #breakdown, #business

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Job tension is running high Asok says, "I?I?forgot to total the cost estimates." Asok says, "Gaaaa!!!! You're going to fire me! I'm the next casualty of the frail economy!!!" The boss says, "Maybe we could finish this by e-mail." Asok says, "Must improve street-mime skills!!!"