All Files Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for all files comic strips. Discover the best "All Files" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sing or dance, #resigned, #huge resignation, #manifesto, #video clips, #humorous sound files, #website, #broadway theater prodcution, #first motivated employee, #technology

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Ted approaches Dilbert, "Can you sing or dance?" Dilbert turns to face Ted, "Ted? I thought you resigned in disgust two weeks ago." Ted replies, "Well...I wrote a huge resignation manifesto that I planned to e-mail to the entire company." With hands raised Ted says, "But I thought it needed pictures." With arms now raised to the side Ted says, "Before long I was adding video clips and humorous sound files." Exasperated Ted states, "Then I thought, hey, why not put it all on a website?" More calmed and reserved, Ted says "Now I'm turning the whole thing into an off Broadway theatre production." Arriving home after work, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I saw my first motivated employee today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #files, #hid files, #skeleton, #babe, #home wrecker

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Asok peers into a closet with lots of janitorial supplies and in the middle of which is a tall stack of files. He thinks: "I have found where Ted hid his files before he quit." Inside the closet he also finds a skeleton. He thinks: "A skeleton! I know what I must do." Asok is in his cubicle. He has placed the skeleton, who is now wearing the threads of a mop as a hairpeice, in a chair next to him. Asok is busy with his computer. Wally asks Asok: "Who's the babe?" Asok warns Wally: "Stay away homewrecker."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #where he hid files, #disgruntled, #porcelain patty, #job resigned

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Asok the Intern is at the Boss's office. The Boss is sitting behind his desk. He tells Asok: "Ted resigned. Your job is to find out where he hid his files." He continues: "Our only clue is that he was disgruntled." Asok is in the bathroom. He jots down in his notepad: "Negatory on porcelain patty."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email two copies, #fax, #green paper, #email, #files, #hard copy, #internet, #motivation gone, #losing consciousness, #lazy employees, #technology

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Dilbert stands at the boss' desk. The boss says, "e-mail two copies to me when you're done." Dilbert says, "Two copies? It's e0mail." The boss says, "So?" Dilbert says, "Never mind. I'll e-mail two copies." The boss says, "and fax a copy in green paper for my files." Dilbert says, "Green? It's a fax!" The boss walks Dilbert out of his office and says, "And bring me a hard copy of the internet so I can do some serious surfing." Dilbert begins to faint in the doorway. Dilbert thinks, "Motivation.... gonve.. losing consciousness.." Dilber joins the pile of passed out employess by the boss' door. The boss thinks, "How did I end up with all the lazy employees?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power supply, #nail in wood, #vacation tomorrwo, #need changes

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Dilbert works on a computer with a screwdriver. A stupid looking man offers Dilbert a piece of wood with a nail in it. The dumb man says, "I didn't know how to design a power supply, so I put a nail in a piece of wood." The man says, "I'm on vacation tomorrow, so I'll give you my files in case you need to make changes." Dilbert holds the wood and looks mad. The stupid man says, "Once I had he idea, it all came together pretty quickly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help on assignment, #no brainer, #interface design, #make beige, #decisions, #can't go wrong

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Dilbert is in The Boss's office. He holds some files and says, "I need help on the assignment that you said is a 'no brainer.'" The Boss says, "It's easy. Just skip the 'interface design' phase and make everything beige. You can't go wrong with beige." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I always know where to go for no-brainer decisions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #idiot boss, #move mouse pad, #mouse at end, #cursor, #moving desk, #need 800 upgrade, #dogbert tech support

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Dogbert answers the phone and says, "This is Dogbert. How may I abuse you?" The Boss sits at his desk and says into the telephone, "I need to move my cursor to the right but my mouse is at the edge of the mousepad." Dogbert asks, "Have you tried rebooting without saving your files?" The Boss replies, "Yeah, several times." Dogbert asks, "Have you tried moving your desk?" The Boss pushes his desk. The Boss says, "It didn't work." Dogbert says, "You need my $800 mousepad upgrade." The Boss asks Carol, "What account does this get charged to?" Carol replies, "'Idiot Expense,' just like everything else."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #simple molecules, #powerful chemicals, #simple cells, #powerful life forms, #powerful comouters, #less capable components, #supreme being, #future, #god consciousness, #files, #web browser, #fly

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dogbert says, "Simple molecules combine to make powerful chemicals . . ." Dogbert continues, "Simple cells combine to make powerful lifeforms." Dogbert continues, "Simple electronics combine to make powerful computers." Dogbert continues, "Logically, all things are created by a combination of simpler, less capable components." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a rock. Dogbert continues, "Therefore, a supreme being must be our FUTURE, not our origin!" Dogbert says, "What if 'God' is the consciousness that will be created when enough of us are connected by the Internet?!!" Dilbert says, "That would certainly limit the types of files I download. I wonder what it would do to response times." Dogbert says, "It's so nice to spend time alone with my thoughts." Dilbert says, "My web browser would FLY!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #proposed work, #plan, #stress test, #product, #network conditions, #accomplish, #downloading, #large image files, #servers, #on net, #naughty pictures

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Wally hands the Boss a piece of paper and says, "My proposed work plan for the year is to stress-test our product under severe network conditions." Wally continues, "I will accomplish this by downloading large image files from the busiest servers on the net." As Wally and Dilbert walk away from the meeting, Wally comments, "I was THIS close to making it my job to download naughty pictures." Dilbert says, "It's just as well; I would have had to kill you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prodcutivity, #moving, #cubcile, #phone, #comaputer, #disconnected, #boxed, #lost, #abandoned pretense, #loser

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The Boss looks into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I see signs of productivity here. I'm moving you to another cubicle." The Boss continues, "Your phone and computer will be disconnected for weeks. Your files will be boxed and lost." Dilbert's hair stands on end as he says, "Good Lord, you've abandoned all pretense of being on our side!!" The Boss responds, "Loser."