Antimatter Dilbert Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Antimatter Dilbert

View 21 - 30 results for antimatter dilbert comic strips. Discover the best "Antimatter Dilbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Never Admit You Are Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Never Admit You Are Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office relationships, #wrong, #admit, #pride, #cumulative, #clouds, #speachless, #example

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: you never admit you're wrong. dilbert: give me one example of that. tina: well, for example, there was the time you said there were no such things as "cumulative" clouds. panel changes to office building. tina: to this day, you have not admitted you were wrong. dilbert: um...

Anonymous Sources

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company, #anonymous, #credibility, #trust, #lie, #thief, #sources

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.

Elbonian Literature Degree

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Literature Degree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #applicant, #books, #college, #degree, #education, #elbonian, #interview, #language, #major, #test taker, #translation

View Transcript

Transcript

applicant: i majored in elbonian literature in college. which is extra challenging because i don't speak elbonian and none of the books are translated. dilbert: how did you get a degree in elbonian literature without reading any? applicant: i'm a great test-taker.

Pandemic Sales

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pandemic Sales - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sales, #high, #pandemic, #virus, #deadly, #profit, #conscience, #feelings

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting with dilbert and alice. boss: thanks to the pandemic, our sales are at an all-time high. dilbert: shouldn't we feel guilty for profiting from a deadly virus? boss: i think if we were going to feel that, it would have kicked in by now.

Political Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Political Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brainwashed, #business, #harmony, #messaging, #opinions, #partisan politics, #platforms, #political issues, #underinformed

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert in meeting sitting next to wally and dilbert: catbert: our ceo has banned political talk on all employee messaging platforms. it's just as well because you're all brainwashed and underinformed, so your opinions are not worth the spittle that comes with them. panel shows office building. we hope this change will improve internal harmony.

Management Potential

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #stealing, #credit, #potential, #chart

View Transcript

Transcript

boss reading paper: that's a great chart, ted. dilbert: actually, i made that chart a month ago, and ted stole it without giving me credit. boss to catbert: ted has management potential.

Frequent Victims Club

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #join, #frequent, #victim, #club, #beverage, #minute, #dollar, #track, #purchases, #sell, #data, #colleagues, #stores, #customer, #servey

View Transcript

Transcript

man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Dilbert Makes A Friend

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Makes A Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #work, #news, #friend, #social media, #monster, #check, #fooled, #posts

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: good news. i made a friend at work. dogbert: have you checked his social media posts? dilbert yelling: he's a monster! dogbert: that's why we check.

Nominate A Coworker

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nominate A Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #months, #recommendations, #co-workers, #office workers, #recognize, #superior, #work, #nominated, #honest, #idea, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: two months ago, i asked you all for recommendations on co-workers who should be recognized for superior work. on day one, you all nominated yourselves. since then it has been quiet. dilbert: if i'm being honest, it wasn't one of your brightest ideas.

Million Dollar Bonuses

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Million Dollar Bonuses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #deadline, #project, #million-dollar, #recommendation, #lying, #clock, #weeks, #spirit, #bonus, #mad, #finished, #no, #laptop, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: if you finish by the deadline, i'll recommend you for a million dollar bonus. dilbert: you're lying. boss: i'm serious. dilbert: but you're also lying. boss: only one way to find out. dilbert: i'd need to work around the clock for weeks to meet the deadline. boss: that's the spirit! dilbert: if you're lying about the bonus, i'm going to be boiling mad. five weeks later. dilbert: it nearly killed me, but i finished by the deadline. where's my million dollar bonus. boss: i told you i'd recommend it. they said no.