Assets Ratio Comic Strips - Page 3
26 Results for Assets Ratio
View 21 - 26 results for assets ratio comic strips. Discover the best "Assets Ratio" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 05, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert points to a sign that says, "Dogbert explains leadership." Dogbert points to a man who is wearing an untucked shirt and staring blankly ahead. Dogbert says, "Leaders start their careers as morons." The caption says, "They are drawn to meetings like moths to a porch light. The moron walks toward a conference room. Dogbert points to a diagram of a human body. He says, "The successful moron will have a very high bladder-to-brain ratio." The caption says, "They prevail in all decisions because they are impervious to logic or coffee." Dilbert sits at a conference table with the moron and another man. The moron says, "Let's do it my way!" The other man says, "Okay!" The caption says, "These qualities are perceived as leadership." The moron pours coffee on himself. The Boss tells the moron, "You're promoted!" The caption says, "After several promotions their job tends to match their talents." The moron tells Dilbert, "I award you this award." Dogbert says, "Conclusion: leadership is nature's way of removing morons from the productive flow."
Share August 30, 1994's comic on:
"I'm going to take classes at night and get an MBA." "I don't need a big-name school. I'm in this for knowledge, not prestige." "How about 'Tony's House of MBA's'?" "The babe ratio is better at 'MBA-O-RAMA'."
Share August 03, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Your commercial should compare your best assets to the competition's worst. we'll use a hidden camera to film your employees on the job. The Boss: I missed something here... Dogbert: we'll imply that they all work for the competition . this isn't a documentary.
Share January 15, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: Good news - your ratio of liquidity is very low. You qualify to invest in my reincarnation fund. Man: If my ratio is low, that means IM ...uh... Made of liquid. Dogbert: Id say you're 98% water, 2% cheap suit, and whats left is your amazing brain.
Share January 09, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: "Maybe I should approach my personal life as if it were an engineering project." Dogbert: "What is the mission of this project?" Dilbert: "Find a girlfriend!" Dogbert: "Good. Now consider the feasible alternatives." Dilbert: "Define 'feasible'." Dogbert: "Never mind, let's move on." Dogbert: "Now let's calculate your attractiveness ratio so we can narrow the field of girlfriend options." Dogbert: "Let's see...your buying power narrows the choices to a woman who just got a face transplant from a baboon." Dilbert: "Maybe it was an attractive baboon. I should call her." Dogbert: "Somewhere between desire and engineering lies stupidity."
Share August 30, 1991's comic on:
Man: I hope you'll date me now, Helen. I brought my resume as you requested. Helen: There's a little formula I use to calculate the ratio of your earnings potential to your height and baldness... Hmm... You pass. Of course, I'll still date other men too. Man: On different nights?