Batch Of Tiger Meat Comic Strips - Page 3

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37 Results for Batch Of Tiger Meat

View 21 - 30 results for batch of tiger meat comic strips. Discover the best "Batch Of Tiger Meat" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exporting leprechaun meat, #cameras, #elbonians, #no excuse

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Headline: P.R. for Elbonia. Dogbert is standing on a table. He addresses two Elbonians, "The media give you a bad rap for exporting leprechaun meat." Dogbert continues, "Our ad campaign will feature a leprechaun explaining that they enjoy being eaten." Ratbert is dressed up like a leprechaun in front of cameras. He is standing in a frying pan and holding a meat tenderizer. He says, "Elbonians are our best friends. Now excuse me while I tenderize myself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pointy haired convict, #bust joint, #walking backward, #little joke, #fresh meat

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Headline: Pointy-haired Convict. The Boss is wearing a prison jumper and says to Wally, "I've got to find a way to bust out of this joint." Wally responds, "Try walking backward." The Boss says, "Well, that didn't work... Oh, I get it: This is a little joke you play on all the fresh meat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bandwidth, #budget, #double click, #engineer for week, #interface, #ping director, #scope, #batch mode

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The Boss says to Alice and Dilbert, "Let's ping the director of marketing and double-click on the budget." The Boss continues, "Then we can interface in batch mode and put a scope on his bandwidth." Alice cringes and exclaims, "Please stop doing that!" The Boss adds, "Have I mentioned that I was an engineer for a week?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the turnaround ceo, #turnaround is complete, #new job, #meat packing, #reduce overhead, #switch rooms, #fisnih afternoon

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The Turnaround CEO The devilish CEO says to Dilbert, "The turnaround is complete. I'm off to my new job." He continues, "It's a meat packing house that need to reduce overhead." Still talking, "I figure I can switch a few room signs and finish in an afternoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget cycle, #helipcopter, #double rotor, #respect, #budget process, #budget padding, #albino tiger cubs

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Caption "The budget cycle" Wally and Asok sit at a conference table. Wally reads of a piece of paper and says, "And i'll need a helicopter, double rotor." Asok says, "If you have any resoect for me or the budget process, you will not ask for such obvious budget padding." Wally says, "And I'll need that chopper filled with Albino tiger cubs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economic success, #stock price, #fire batch, #incompetence, #lying customers

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The Boss, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "You employees are the key to our economic success." The Boss explains, "Anytime we need a little stock-price boost, we just fire another batch of you. It's like printing money!" The Boss holds up a chart and says, "In fact, 'incompetence' has become our most profitable product." Alice says, "Wow. It beat out 'lying to customers.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advanced material, #designing at work, #good batch, #pyrophoric mean

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Dilbert and Liz sit at a table looking at various containers. Liz says, "These are some of the advanced materials I'm designing at work. That jar holds a pyrophoric substance." Dilbert picks it up and says, "Let's see." The jar explodes in his face. Dilbert looks charred and small clouds of smoke rise from his head. He says, "Yep, that's a good batch." Liz says, "A person from a smarter gender might have said 'What does "pyrophoric" mean?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #built a spreadsheet, #relative qualities, #twenty percent, #stop dating, #wrong formula, #higher math skills, #error intentional, #batch of flowers

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Liz sits at her computer and Dilbert looks over her shoulder. Liz says, "I built a spreadsheet to compare our relative qualities. I'm afraid I'm twenty percent too good for you. We must stop dating." Dilbert points at the screen and says, "NO! Look, Liz, you have the wrong formula in this column! That must mean I have higher math skills than you! We're almost even!" After Dilbert leaves, Liz sits at her computer and Dogbert sits on her printer. Dogbert says to Liz, "You left that error in there intentionally." Liz answers, "My last batch of flowers is wilting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #saint dogbert, #priority matrix, #agenda

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"I invited Saint Dogbert to bludgeon anybody who strays from the agenda into something stupid." "That reminds me of the productization of our Tiger Team's priority matrix." "Actually, that was on the agenda." "Oops. Carry on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #final design, #zebra, #fisnih on time, #canceled project, #month ago, #legal, #binder, #dont travel

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Dilbert: Here's the final design for Project 'Zebra'. I worked day and night for weeks to finish it on time. The Boss: I canceled that project a month ago, I meat to tell you. Dilbert: In some countries it would be legal to kill you with this binder, The Boss: Thats why I don't travel.