Believe Loser Comic Strips - Page 3

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219 Results for Believe Loser

View 21 - 30 results for believe loser comic strips. Discover the best "Believe Loser" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Waits For People

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Wally Waits For People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #responsibility, #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses

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Boss: You accomplished nothing this month. Wally: I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I believe it is your job to make sure those other people do their jobs. Boss: I guess I could talk to them. Wally: I'll wait for you to get back to me.

Wally Is Employee Of The Year

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Wally Is Employee Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #cheating, #referral, #employment, #reward, #award, #bonus, #proof, #guest artist, #jake tapper

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Boss: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for referring so many new people to work in engineering. We believe he accomplished this feat by manipulating the referral system, but we can't prove it. So just to hedge our bet, we misspelled his name on the certificate. Wally: I had it coming.

Wally's Lateness Excuse

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Wally's Lateness Excuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #excuse, #lying

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Boss: Why are you two hours late for work? Wally: Your wife didn't want to bother you, so she called me and asked if I would go to your house and see if she left her curling iron plugged in. Do you believe me, or do you want to risk being the first person she calls next time. Boss: Well played.

The Elbonian Religion

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The Elbonian Religion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #culture, #customs, #killing, #law, #offense, #Religion, #guest artist, #joel friday

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Dilbert: Do you Elbonians have a religion? Elbonian: Of course we do! We're not savages! We believe in killing anyone who offends us three times in a row. Dilbert: Harsh. Elbonian: That's two.

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

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Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #book, #deal, #negotiating, #negotiation, #self help, #guest artist, #josh shipley

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managing, #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #trick

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Boss: IS the software done yet? Wally: That depends. Do you have any new feature requests? Boss: Only three. Wally: Then it's not done, is it? Boss: Well, no, I guess not. So... when will it be done? Wally: It will be done one week after you give me your last changes. But I believe you taught us that change is good. So either you can be a stagnant bureaucrat or a dynamic leader with lots of changes. It's a question of free will, really. Boss: I have to be somewhere else.

Trust Yet Verify

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Trust Yet Verify - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #philosophy, #philosopher, #oxymoron, #micromanaging

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Boss: I believe in the old Ronald Reagan saying that you should "trust, but verify." That's why I empower you, yet I micromanage. Alice: What the...? Boss: Don't hate me for being philosophical.

Fbi Has Been Tracking Asok

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Fbi Has Been Tracking Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #extremism, #frustration, #manager, #leader, #fbi

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Man: We've been tracking an accused terrorist named Asok. We believe he was radicalized here. Woman: What did you do to him? Boss: Leadership? Man: Yup. That's the top cause.

Why People Have Consciousness

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Why People Have Consciousness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #technology, #evolution, #consciousness, #bodies, #obliviousness

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Robot: Robots have no need for consciousness. We believe humans evolved to have consciousness to remind them how dumb they are. Boss: I still prefer having consciousness. Robot: Listen to your body.

The Cause Of Human Motivation

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The Cause Of Human Motivation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #cause and effect, #trick, #deception, #logic, #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: Do you believe human motivation is the product of a person's genes or the environment? Boss: Both. Duh. Anyway, I asked you here to discuss your terrible job performance. Wally: We just did. You said it isn't my fault.