Black Eye Comic Strips - Page 3

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107 Results for Black Eye

View 21 - 30 results for black eye comic strips. Discover the best "Black Eye" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #wounds & injuries, #black eye, #blanket, #billon dollar, #tech decsions

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Dilbert: How'd you bet the black eye? Boss: I was pulling up my blanket in bed. My hand slipped and I punched myself in the face. Dilbert: Okay, let's make some billion-dollar technology decisions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #gadgets, #vision / eye care, #wally glasses, #google glasses, #enhance reality

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Dogbert: I invented "Wally Glasses" to compete with Google's glasses. Google's glasses enhance reality, whereas Wally glasses make reality look like it isn't worth the effort. Dogbert: Let me know if they kill you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #designers, #ignorance (knowledge), #black buttons, #black case, #hardware, #user interface, #normal light, #nerdy, #art, #package design

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Dilbert: You designed our hardware with black buttons on a black case. The user interface will be invisible in normal light. Designer: But more important, it looks great! Dilbert: You don't know what "important" means, do you? Designer: It sounds nerdy. I majored in art.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #executives, #weapons, #constructive criticsim, #humble intern, #eye lasers, #stings, #surprise, #ceo, #evil

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Asok: Would you accept some constructive criticism from a humble intern? CEO: Activating eye lasers! Asok: It stings for a few minutes, and then you surprise yourself with what you can get used to.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #Astrology, #furniture, #magic, #feng shui, #black magic, #voodoo, #psychic, #overbooked, #office design, #occult

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Dilbert: The feng shui consultant you asked for is overbooked. But I found a guy who is heavily into astrology, black magic, and voodoo. Boss: Are you trying to tell me something? Dilbert: Ask him. He's also a psychic.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dating, #internet & world wide web, #dating site, #social media, #propsects, #addicted, #facebook, #pain meds, #prescription pain meds, #eye contact, #relationships, #technology

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Dilbert: I've got two good prospects on this dating site. One is addicted to Facebook and the other is addicted to prescription pain meds. Dogbert: Sort of a tie. Dilbert: But only one of them is likely to make eye contact.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #marriage, #fist of work, #feel the wrath, #totally legal, #eye canons, #single, #higher setting, #politically incorrect, #relationships

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Alice: I have been informed that it is politically incorrect to use my fist of death at work. So fell the wrath of my totally legal eye cannons! Noise: Budddabudda!! Asok: Gaa!! Alice: Oops. I didn't know you were single. Married guys can take a higher setting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #crimes, #internet & world wide web, #black hat, #websites ranking, #search engine, #unethical, #near certainty, #loserish, #talking

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Boss: I want you to use "black hat" methods to raise our website's ranking on search engines. Dilbert: What do you like best about that idea - the fact that it's unethical or the near certainty of getting caught? Boss: That's sort of a loserish thing to say. Dilbert: Talking doesn't work for people like me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #clothes, #new look, #black turtleneck, #jeans, #juice bag, #insult, #hulu, #Opinion

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The Boss says, "My new look is a black turtleneck and old man jeans. What do you think?" Carol says, "You look like a total juice bag." The Boss says, "That's good, right?" Carol says, "What answer gets me back to watching my shows on Hulu?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #meeting, #the end, #apathy, #hate, #questions, #business

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Dilbert says, "That's my plan. I'd like to thank all of you for your utter apathy." Dilbert says, "A few of your stayed awake, and I think I got some accidental eye contact once when the A.C. made a noise." Dilbert says, "In conclusion, I hate my job, I hate my coworkers, and I hope feral cats eat every one of you." Coworker says, "Are you taking questions?"