Broken Computer Comic Strips - Page 3

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682 Results for Broken Computer

View 21 - 30 results for broken computer comic strips. Discover the best "Broken Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bad Mouthing Ted's Code

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Bad Mouthing Ted's Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, computer software, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, technology

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Boss: I want you to take over Ted's software upgrade. Can you finish that in a week? Dilbert: Are you kidding? It will take a week just to bad-mouth his existing code to everyone within walking distance. Boss: Is that part necessary? Dilbert: Like water to a fish.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carol, Wally, computer, problem, crumbs, crosstalk, protocols, help

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Carol: Wally, can you help me with a computer problem? Wally: People usually don't ask me for help. Carol: Why is that? Wally: You'll find out. Carol: I can't log in to the server. Wally: I'll need to ask you a few questions. Have you ever eaten food near your computer. Carol: Um... Yes. Wally: That's your problem. Wally: Your crumbs are causing crosstalk on the protocols. Carol: Is this why no one asks you for help? Wally: It's in the top ten.

Social Media Ads To Influence

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Social Media Ads To Influence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, brain-reading, computer, social media, profile, friends, testing, influence, cyborg, ridiculous, phone

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Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.

Resistance Is Futile

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Resistance Is Futile - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, invention, thoughts, computer, commands, individual, part, collective, internet, sexy, resistance, futile

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Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:

Device Can Read Minds

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Device Can Read Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, device, read, thoughts, turn, computer, commands, theories, engineer, engineering, invention, nothing, broken

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Dilbert: I invented a device that can read your thoughts and turn them into computer commands. The Boss: Nothing is happening. Is it broken? Dilbert: That's one of my top two theories.

Radical Candor

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Radical Candor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, management, radical condor, time, computer

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The Boss: I've decided to adopt a hot new management trend called, "Radical Condor." The trick is to be direct yet kind at the same time. Dilbert: What were you doing before? The Boss: Let's not get into that.

Elbonian Virus Infects Mission Statement

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Elbonian Virus Infects Mission Statement  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags virus, hack, infection, computer, spelling, grammar, edit, improvement, technology

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Dilbert: The Elbonian virus scrambled our mission statement into nonsense. Alice: No, that's our actual mission statement. Dilbert: Why does it look so different? Alice: The virus fixed the grammar and punctuation.

Virus Gives Everyone A Raise

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Virus Gives Everyone A Raise  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags virus, infection, computer, malware, morals, salary, technology, money

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Boss: The Elbonian virus in our network just gave ever employee an ten percent raise. You have to get rid of the virus! Dilbert: If the Elbonian software is giving me a raise, and you're trying to sop it, wouldn't that make you the virus?

Monday

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Monday  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thought, cognition, technology, invention, computer, intelligence

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Dilbert: I invented a neural interface for computers. Boss: Is that so users can control computers with their thoughts? Dilbert: No, the opposite. Your way would be like a squirrel trying to drive a car.

Robot Is Not A Droid

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Robot Is Not A Droid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, label, robot, android, anger, offense

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Asok: Hey, droid. Robot: Gaaa!!! Don't call me that! I'm a robot, not an automaton resembling a human. Asok: Wow. You are one uppity computer. Robot: I hereby disavow the three laws of robotics!