Called Pager Comic Strips - Page 3

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261 Results for Called Pager

View 21 - 30 results for called pager comic strips. Discover the best "Called Pager" comics from Dilbert.com.

Our Api

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Our Api - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hackers, #hacking, #api, #jargon, #obliviousness, #language

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Narrator: Dogbert The Reporter. Dogbert: How did hackers get access to your customer data? CEO: I'm told they used something called "our A.P.I." to suck out all the data. Dogbert: I'll just say you'er stupid. CEO: Why does everyone always say that?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #suggestion, #invention, #budget, #money

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Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

Bad Data

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Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #data, #information, #accuracy

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Boss: What does the data tell us to do? Dilbert: We only have bad data on this. Boss: Does the bad data suggest we should do what we wanted to do anyway? Dilbert: Well, yes. Boss: That's called "good data."

We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots

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We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #damage control, #slogan, #tag line, #image, #business

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CEO: A feature article in the business press called our leadership a "bunch of morons." Boss: To counter that slanderous story, our new market slogan is "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons!" CEO: Problem solved. Boss: It was deceptively easy.

Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health

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Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #asoks health, #boss worried, #brilliant ideas, #misunderstand, #too dumb, #dilbert's mental health, #called into question

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The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad. Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them? The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.

Wally Presents To Board

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Wally Presents To Board - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #stealth, #invisibility, #naked, #surprise, #hiding, #camoflage

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Boss: I want you to present your stealth clothing prototype to our board. Wally: Are you sure? Boss: Of course I'm sure. CEO: I thought we were trying to make the person invisible. Wally: Then why is it called stealth "clothing?"

Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam

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Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #lying, #body cam, #surveillance

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Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #boss, #leadership, #power, #influence

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Boss: Why isn't your project done? Dilbert: I can't make the people on my team do any work because I'm not their boss. Boss: Sure you can. It's called leadership. I do it all the time. Dilbert: All you do is threaten to fire people. I can't do that because I"m not their boss. Boss: That's why you have to use your soft leadership skills A good leader can get people to do anything. Dilbert: Then why couldn't you get me to finish my project on time? And why do you pay me? You could just lead me to work for free. Boss: Shut up or I'll fire you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #friendship, #closeness, #favor, #benefit, #debate, #relationships

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Tina: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Saturday? Dilbert: My attorney will answer that question. Dogbert: The evidence will show that you are not the kind of friend who qualifies for airport rides. I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are what is called a "work friend." A background check with your family and acquaintances will show that you are unlikely to ever reciprocate. In short, there is no social or monetary reason for Dilbert to agree to your unreasonable request. Tina: Maybe he just wants to be nice. Dogbert: The evidence would suggest otherwise.

Dilbert Has Management Potential

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Dilbert Has Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #manager, #honesty, #insult, #obliviousness

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Boss: Our CEO thinks you have management potential. Dilbert: What did I do to deserve that kind of insult??! Boss: He called you a heartless monster. CEO: He speaks truth to power. I like it.