Can't Be Bothered Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for can't be bothered comic strips. Discover the best "Can't Be Bothered" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worried, #bragging, #money, #foreclosure, #angry, #insensitive

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Ted says, "I can?t afford my mortgage because of my pay cut. The bank will take the house." Asok says, "I saved a bundle by being a renter. I should buy your house for next to nothing." Asok says, "Too soon?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pay, #economy, #nervous, #crazy

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Catbert says, "Asok, we need to cut your pay again. But maybe you could get a second job." Asok the intern says, "Second???" Asok the intern says, "I am already doing freelance I.T. support?and donating blood?and working as a male escort." Catbert says, "I don't need the details." Asok the intern says, "Running guns...Robbing graves...Starting a hedge fund..."`

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #legal advise, #economy, #pay

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Asok the intern says, "Pssst! I'm doing black market I.T. support to make up for my recent cut in pay." Man says, "Isn't this illegal?" Asok the intern, "Not according to my black market company lawyer." Alice says, "So it's legal to punch vendors?" Dogbert says, "Sure, if they deserve it." Dogbert says, "That's $100, please."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #animals, #livestock, #punishment, #rudeness, #preventer of information, #mordac, #penalty, #relocation, #agrarian society, #cow knows, #rebooting, #call tech support

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Mordac, the preventer of information services Mordac says, "You have exceeded your allocation for I.T. support." Mordac says, "The penalty is forcible relocation to an agrarian society." Cow says, "Seriously, even a cow knows you should try rebooting before calling tech support."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #costume, #meeting, #scapegoat, #senario set up, #luck, #business

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Dilbert the scapegoat The Boss says, "I need you for a meeting with my boss." The Boss says, "About five minutes, into the meeting I'm going to start punching you. With any luck, my boss will join in." Dilbert says, "Maybe that shouldn?t be called luck." The Boss says, "Okay...Skill. Whatever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #agree, #disagree, #idea, #plan, #terrible idea, #worst ever idea, #bordering irresponsible, #disagrees with everyone, #idea is awful, #manipulate me, #terrible tidea, #dance puppet dance

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Dilbert: Do you have a minute to look t my terrible idea? It's the worst idea ever, totally impractical, and bordering on irresponsible. Ted: Why are you saying that about your own idea? Dilbert: Because you're one of those jerks who automatically disagree with everyone. I'm telling you my idea is awful so you will feel compelled to say it is great. Ted: Now that I know how you plan to manipulate me, it won't work. Dilbert: I'm so surprised to hear that you disagree. Now look at my terrible terrible idea.Dance, puppet, dance. Ted: THIS IS A GREAT IDEA!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #useless, #mit degree, #engineering, #easier, #raise

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The boss: "I don't understand anything you do, so I assume it's all useless." Dilbert: "Maybe you could go to M.I.T. and get a degree in engineering so you would understand what I do." The boss: "Would that be easier than not giving you a raise?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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This t-shirt goes to Ted for his work on the alpha project. "Your work was terrible. You're fired." IDIOT "It was frightening." "Were you scared shirtless?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Satan's Vendor "You'll have many benefits after our technology is irrevocably implemented in your network." "For example, when one of our products stops working, we'll blame another vendor within 24 hours." "Do you have free t-shirts?" "Yes. They're made of the finest allergens."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #upgrade computer, #non standard equipment, #cubicle, #den, #non stardard, #onitor, #healing, #clense, #upgraded computer, #abacus

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I asked the I.T. department to upgrade my computer. "They're coming here??!" "We must hide our non-standard equipment!" "Uh-oh." "So-o-o... this den of non-standardization must be your cubicle." "This non-standard printer is coming with me. And I don't remember that monitor on our list." "I must cleanse your cubicle of non-conformancce so the healing can begin." "Surely my upgraded computer will arrive soon." Months later "Abacus?" "Please shut up."