Can't Stay Awake Comic Strips - Page 3

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192 Results for Can't Stay Awake

View 21 - 30 results for can't stay awake comic strips. Discover the best "Can't Stay Awake" comics from Dilbert.com.

Arguing With Idiots

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Arguing With Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #secret, #tip, #arguing, #psychology

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Asok: Wally, how do you stay happy while the rest of us are stressed out? Wally: It's easy. Instead of arguing with idiots, I pretend I agree with them so they'll leave me alone. Asok: That sounds risky. Wally: Yes, I agree.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team, #teamwork, #collaboration, #excuses, #group project, #business

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Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.

Disgruntled Carol

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Disgruntled Carol - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #personality test, #personality, #mental illness, #fear, #threat, #danger, #psychology

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Boss: Did you take The Dogbert Personality Type Test? Carol: Yes. I'm a disgruntled psychopath with a blinding hatred for authority. Boss: I'll be in my office. Carol: Good! Stay there!

Unforseen Problems

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Unforseen Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #building apps, #completion date, #problems, #unforseen

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Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thundershirt, #stress, #prank, #practical joke

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Wally: You look stressed. Asok: I am. How do you drink so much coffee and stay so calm? Wally: It's easy. I wear a "Thundershirt" under my work clothes. It was designed to make dogs feel safe during thunderstorms. When I saw the commercial for it on TV, I wondered what else it could do, so I bought one. I haven't had a bad day at work since then. Narrator: One week later. Asok: Feeling good! Best day of work ever! Dilbert: Did you convince a co-worker to wear pet clothes? Wally: That's how I reduce my stress.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #group project, #dependability, #failure, #psychic, #prediction

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Dilbert: I need your feedback on my PowerPoint deck before Tuesday. Man: I'll do that on Monday night. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's a trap! You are notoriously undependable. The odds of you working on a Monday night are terrible. If I don't get your input on time, you will make a fool out of me in the meeting. I'll stay up all night Monday hoping to get your email. But that input will never come. I'll end up doing the presentation on no sleep. Then you will embarrass me during the presentation by pointing out the errors in my slides. Man: For a mind reader, you sure have a terrible life.

Alice Tries To Be Interesting

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Alice Tries To Be Interesting  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nap, #sleep, #meetings, #boredom, #narcolepsy, #laziness, #health

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Wally: I have a doctor's note that says I can sleep during meetings. That puts the pressure on you to be interesting enough to keep me awake. Alice: I'll do my best, but... Wally: ZZZZZ.

Dilbert's Vacation Was Tragic

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Dilbert's Vacation Was Tragic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation, #work, #workload, #work ethic

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Wally: How was your vacation? Dilbert: Tragic. All I did was stay home and watch my personal hygiene decline while my workload here piled up. Wally: You just described my perfect day.

Trust The Boss

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Trust The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trust, #confidence, #vampire, #dead, #trustworthy

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Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.

Coaching Alice

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Coaching Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coaching, #mentor, #boss, #manager, #Advice

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Boss: Do you want some coaching? Alice: Heck yes. If you find someone who knows my job better than I do, send them my way. Boss: Maybe I could share my wisdom with you. Alice: Can you teach me how to stay calm when some idiot interrupts me?