Category Changes Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

87 Results for Category Changes

View 21 - 30 results for category changes comic strips. Discover the best "Category Changes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #product changes, #change orders, #new features, #online change order system, #old forms, #change order, #managemet, #better plan, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; Don't make any product changes without change orders. When users ask for new features, direct them to the online change order system. Dilbert: That system only has the old forms. Boss: Tell someone to put the new ones on there. Wally: That would require a change order. Dilbert: Maybe we could tell users our sense of hope was killed by something called management. The we could sort of slump over like we're waiting for death's cold embrace. Boss: I'll get back to you if I think of a better plan.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #work ethic, #lawyer, #60 page contract, #amendements, #900 contracts, #tax law, #17 managers, #good leaders, #standards, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our lawyer sent over a sixty-page contract renewal that I need you to review. Make sure you compare it to the original contract and all six or seven amendments. Dilbert: Are there six or... seven? Boss: No one really knows. Check out our other nine hundred contracts to make sure this one doesn't violate any of those. Keep in mind our five-year strategic plan and all likely changes to tax law. Then get buy-in from the seventeen managers who hate my guts and will take it out on you. By tomorrow. Good leaders set high standards.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #first draft, #blah blah blah, #worthless

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Let me know if you have any changes to my first draft. Coworker: This literally says the words "blah, blah, blah." Are you lazy? Wally: No, I'm worthless. Lazy would have been one "blah."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #irony, #managers & supervisors, #interface, #finished, #started, #micromanagement, #bad reputation, #optimistic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't wait to see the changes I asked you to make on the interface. Our last meeting was two months ago. You must be finished by now. Coworker: I haven't started yet. I had a few questions. I figured I'd ask you about them the next time we talked. In the meantime I only did work for people who yelled at me every day. Micromanagement has a bad reputation, but I'm not too proud to say I need it. Dilbert: Okay... well, I'm optimistic that you can make those changes for me by next week. Coworker: I probably should have asked my questions.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #software changes, #reflexively disagree, #reasonable

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you make the software changes I suggested? Coworker: No, because I reflexively disagree with ever suggestion that anyone ever makes. Dilbert: You're very reasonable. Coworker: No, I'm a total jer... wait, what did you just do there?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fear, #change is good, #don't fear change, #sickness and death, #alarming symptoms

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do not fear change because change is good. Dilbert: Actually, studies show that any big changes in a person's life vastly increase the odds of sickness and death. Wally: Are you trying to kill us? Dilbert: I can't feel my arm!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #director of change, #employees, #management, #managers & supervisors, #strategies, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're hiring a director of change management to help employees embrace strategic changes. Dilbert: Or we could come up with strategies that make sense. Then employees would embrace change. Boss: That sounds harder.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #bad idea, #email, #hate, #meeting, #recommend changes, #bed ideas, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Did you see my email with all of my recommended changes to your product? Dilbert: Yes. Everything you suggested is a bad idea, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why. Coworker: Now I hate you. Dilbert: All roads headed in that directions. All I did was take the shortest one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #thinking, #ignorant, #backstabbing, #die, #make changes

View Transcript

Transcript

Customer meeting Boss: If I may correct what Dilbert just said, I'm sure it would be easy to make those changes. Dilbert: You ignorant, backstabbing son of a beach ball. Boss: Are you saying something inside your head? Dilbert: No. Die.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project, #transfer, #honesty, #truth, #limbo cube, #sad, #flashy, #sexy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I?m glad your project was transferred to my department, Ronald." The Boss says, "Your project is flashy! It's sexy!" The Boss says, "But it's not worth funding because the revenue projections are puny." The Boss says, "Until something changes, you'll be in the limbo cube." The Boss says, "I'll trot you out whenever a customer or an executive visits." The Boss says, "You can show your sexy-flashy powerpoint slides while dreaming of being relevant." The Boss says, "If you work hard, someday you'll be totally forgotten." The Boss says, "Did you know that honesty makes people sad?"