Change Name Comic Strips - Page 3

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553 Results for Change Name

View 21 - 30 results for change name comic strips. Discover the best "Change Name" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Is No Longer His Name

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Dilbert Is No Longer His Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #respect, #salary

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Dilbert: My name used to be Dilbert, but my boss ordered me to identify as a woman. That way he can claim he pays men and women the same. Woman: I just lost all respect for your company. Dilbert: That was going to happen either way.

Boss Makes Document Suggestions

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Boss Makes Document Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #report, #sarcasm

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Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.

Skipping Teambuilding

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Skipping Teambuilding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #celebration, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #parties, #sarcasm, #team

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Alice: Can I skip the team-building celebration to get some work done? Boss: No, because I'm trying to change the culture. Alice: To what? Angry and unproductive? Boss: Trust the cake.

Agreeing With The Boss

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Agreeing With The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #climate change, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #agree

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Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!

Thanking Everyone By Name

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Thanking Everyone By Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #name

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boss: i'd like to thank each member of the team by name...i'll start with what's-his-face here. voice from crowd: it's dilbert. boss: no, that's not it. you look like steve.

Finding A Scapegoat

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Finding A Scapegoat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #project, #ceo, #scapegaot, #climate change

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the boss: we'll need a scapegoat to blame for our failure on this project. dilbert: no one will believe it wasn't our fault. the boss: are you kidding? the boss: people will believe anything. the boss: we just have to be the first to frame the situation. dilbert: i suppose we could make our lie sound credible. the boss: that's overkill. dilbert: we don't need to sound credible? the boss: not even a little. the boss is in ceo's office. the boss: our project failed because of climate change. ceo: that sounds right.

Leadership And Guessing

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Leadership And Guessing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #coffee, #managers & supervisors, #office

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alice to the boss: one option is to use the old method that has never once worked, but we think we know how to make it work next time. alice: the other option is to try something new that we can't be sure will work. alice: it's almost as if leadership is nothing but guessing. the boss drinking coffee: let's change the subject.

And Then Mark Said

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And Then Mark Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #business, #office, #office workers, #relationships

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tina: ...and then mark said... dilbert: stop talking about mark! dilbert is visually angry. dilbert: all you do is talk about mark! i am so sick of mark. please talk about anything but mark. dilbert is still visually angry. tina: someone told me you'd say that. dilbert: was his name -- MARK? dilbert angry.

Offensive Product Name

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Offensive Product Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #insults, #office, #office workers, #elbonian

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dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.

Birds Cause Hurricanes

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Birds Cause Hurricanes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #ceo, #research, #nonsense, #hurricans, #birds, #noted, #polar bears, #hate, #snow

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CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?