Coffee Shop Comic Strips - Page 3
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wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason. boss: but you got it to work in the end? wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers. boss: how do you plan to solve that? wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.
tina: the dunning-kruger effect is strong in you. dilbert: technically, you can't know if i am suffering from it or if you only think i am because you have it. tina: only a narcissist talks that way. dilbert: i feel as if i have no path to glory here.
carol: our space division asked if you would accept the honor of being their first astronaut to mars. boss: i didn't know they had even tested it for safety yet. carol: he asked too many questions.
wally: that slide deck in yesterday's meeting was lethally boring. luckily, all of my training kicked in. dilbert: and that training taught you to...? wally: go to the bathroom and never return.
dilbert video conferencing: you don't need a mask for a Zoom call. employee: can you back up that claim with a randomized clinical study? dilbert: i've noticed it's a lot easier to hate people lately.
dilbert video conferencing: i'd like to thank everyone who made the project a huge success. except for ted, who made everything twice as hard as it needed to be. ted: i can hear you. dilbert: you're slowing us down again, ted.
wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.
asok: i've noticed that the more experience i gain, the more cynical and jaded i become. am i doomed to become a golem-like creature with a bad attitude if i work here long enough? no offense. Wally: none taken.
ceo: i'm getting reports from your staff that you're a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask and drinking coffee: but i'm not. ceo: we have proof because you follow racists on twitter. boss: what makes you think they are racists? ceo: because they follow you on twitter.
Wally and Dilbert at coffee pot wearing face masks. dilbert: how did you cope with the loss of social contact during the pandemic? wally: best weeks of my life. how about you? dilbert: i didn't want to be the first to say it.