Communication Style Comic Strips - Page 3
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127 Results for Communication Style
View 21 - 30 results for communication style comic strips. Discover the best "Communication Style" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 06,
2018
When Clarity Is Not Your Friend
Tags #language, #jargon, #communication
Transcript
Boss: Your project summary needs mare jargon and acronyms. The goal is to make ourselves look smart while making the readers feel dumb. Dilbert: What about clarity? Boss: Clarity is not our friend on this one.
Tuesday April 11,
2017
Dilbert Enters The Jargon Matrix
Tags #jargon, #language, #matrix, #communication
Transcript
Dilbert: Asok entered the jargon matrix. I'm going in to save him. Asok: User experience... Dilbert: Cloud... blockchain... speed of execution... responsive design... peel the onion... move the needle... Asok: Sustainability. Dilbert: I'm in. Asok: What the...? Where did you come from? Narrator: Continued...
Sunday April 02,
2017
Tags #tldr, #email, #communication, #patience, #criticism
Transcript
Man: Did you read my email? Dilbert: No, it was too long. Man: Maybe you could read it when you have more time. Dilbert: I never have time to read email messages that are too long. Maybe you could rewrite it to be shorter. Man: I don't have time to rewrite it. Dilbert: And I don't have time to read it. Man: If no one reads that email, it will mean I wasted two hours writing it. Dilbert: Plus, you're wasting my time right now. Don't forget to include that in your failure assessment. Man: I had high hopes for that email. Dilbert: It's a sunk cost. Let it go.
Sunday March 26,
2017
Tags #conversation, #delay, #frustration, #interpersonal communication
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you know how to clean up line noise on an XLR connection? Man: No but I can show you how to do something different. Dilbert: Why would I want to see something different? Man: Because it reminds me of what you want to do. Dilbert: I don't need to see that. Man It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I don't have ten minutes. It never takes only ten minutes, and it isn't relevant to my situation. Man: I'm going to show you anyway because you're too polite to walk away while I'm talking. Narrator: Thirty minutes later. Dilbert: Something is wrong with you. Man: Now watch me do it left-handed!
Sunday March 19,
2017
Tags #communication, #mumbling, #speech, #understanding
Transcript
Dilbert: What's the URL for the test site? Boss: Ask Amy. Dilbert; Amy is a mumbler. I can't understand a word she says. Boss; Just ask her to speak up. Dilbert: I've tried that. All she does is mumble louder. And whenever I ask her a question by email, she answers the wrong question. If the only person who knows the URL for the test site is Amy, we probably need to build a new site and tell someone else the URL. Amy might be the most useless employee in the entire company. Wally: Can you teach me to mumble? Amy: Mumble, mumble, mumble. Narrator: Get your own system.
Sunday March 12,
2017
Tags #deadline, #reminder, #communication, #logic, #catch-22
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you finish the wireframe I asked you to do last week? Man: I didn't hear from you, so I assumed you didn't need it. Dilbert: Lat week I asked you to do it and you said you would. Man: Right, but then I didn't hear from you again until now. Dilbert: There wasn't any reason to contact you because you said you would do it! Man: How was I supposed to know that? I assumed your silence meant you changed your mind. Dilbert; Can you finish it by next week? Man: Sure, if you don't pester me about it every minute.
Saturday March 11,
2017
Avoid Offending Sensitive Idiots
Tags #politeness, #etiquette, #communication, #sensitive, #feelings, #offense, #political correctness, #politically correct
Transcript
Dogbert: Avoid offending sensitive idiots whenever possible. Man: I'm a sensitive idiot and I find that offensive. Dogbert: It's okay in your case because you had it coming. Man: Good point. Carry on.
Thursday March 09,
2017
No Texting At Work
Tags #politeness, #etiquette, #company policy, #communication, #distraction, #social media, #conversation, #interaction, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: The company's new politeness policy forbids you from texting while I am trying to talk to you. Alice: I'm not using a texting app. I'm replying to people on social media. Dilbert: You're missing the point. Alice: When did my happiness stop being the point?
Thursday February 02,
2017
Wally Doesn't Open Email
Tags #aversion, #avoiding, #communication, #email, #evasion, #excuse, #work ethic
Transcript
Did you get the file I sent by email? No. If i open email I'll see thirty urgent messages that will ruin my entire day. Can you open it tomorrow? You should try to live in the moment.
Sunday December 04,
2016
Tags #scam, #language, #accent, #communication
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm starting a foreign accent schools for the lazy. People assume you're smarter when you know more than one language. But learning a new language takes too much work. So I'll teach you how to speak your own language with a foreign accent. People will assume you are bilingual at the very least. And when you use bad grammar with a foreign accent it makes you look adorable. You'll never need to do another courtesy laugh, either. People will just assume you didn't get the joke. Dilbert: This is one of your better ideas. Dogbert: You should hear it with an accent!