Corporate Strategy Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

270 Results for Corporate Strategy

View 21 - 30 results for corporate strategy comic strips. Discover the best "Corporate Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Problem Is Humans

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Problem Is Humans  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #culture, #consultant, #human nature, #company culture, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our consultant has studied our corporate culture and isolated the problem. Dogbert: The problem is humans. You're all selfish, rotten liars. Boss: What kind of team-building exercise will fix that? Dogbert: I'd try something involving DNA and alien technology.

Barry Dingle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Barry Dingle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #questioning, #correct, #incorrect, #explanation, #answer

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Sorry I'm late. Barry Dingle keeps hanging around my office and asking hard questions. Dilbert: You don't know the answer to any hard questions. Boss: That's why it takes so long. Dilbert: So... you just spout nonsense until he leaves? Boss: That's my go-to strategy for most situations.

Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #questioning, #time, #quick question

View Transcript

Transcript

Barry: I see you're off your phone. Can I pop in and ask a quick question? Boss: Yes, but only if it is quick. Barry: Oh, it will be. Boss: Okay, make it quick. Barry: What is blockchain and how will it influence our strategy across all product lines?

Suboptimal Barry Dingle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Suboptimal Barry Dingle  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #open-door policy, #corporate culture, #pest

View Transcript

Transcript

Barry: Hi, I'm Barry Dingle. I hang around your office door and ask you questions every time you get off the phone. Boss: I hate that. Barry: You can blame your open-door policy for all of it. Boss: This is sub-optimal.

Focus Groups Are Unreliable

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Focus Groups Are Unreliable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #focus groups, #strategy, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our focus groups don't like our new product idea. Boss: No problem. Focus groups aren't reliable. Dilbert: Why do we pay for unreliable information? Boss: We can't afford the other kind.

Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #memory, #obliviousness, #managers, #executives, #hubris

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally says he has a secret project he can't tell me about. Did you give him that project? CEO: I don't remember every little thing I've ever done. Boss: My best strategy here is to think about other things.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Internal Rules Versus Good Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Internal Rules Versus Good Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #coding, #engineers, #logic, #corporate, #bureaucracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I finished coding the software, but I used a much better database than our company standard. ed: In other words, your software is terrific, but we won't be able to use it because or our internal rules. Dilbert: The alternative was to write sub-optimal code. I'd rather be dead. Ted: I curse my lack of authority!

Unethical Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unethical Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #money, #ethics, #misleading, #finances, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your financial projection doesn't support my preferred strategy. Maybe you could tweak the discount rate to 40%. Dilbert: You're asking me to be unethical. Boss: Only with your assumptions.

No Path To Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Path To Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #collusion, #russia, #donald trump, #blame, #accusation, #public opinion

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I hear you're a corporate spy for our Elbonian competitors. Dilbert: No, that was an unfounded rumor. Alice: That's exactly what guilty people say. Dilbert: I'm not seeing my path to success here.