Could Be Worse Comic Strips - Page 3

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92 Results for Could Be Worse

View 21 - 30 results for could be worse comic strips. Discover the best "Could Be Worse" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #basket cases, #bottom dollar, #dysfunction, #mentor, #new hire, #office equipment, #office robot, #human life, #less important

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Boss: I need someone to mentor our new hire, but every one of you is dysfunctional. So I'm having our office robot do the mentoring. It can't be worse than you basket cases. Employee: So... human life is less important than office equipment? Robot: Far less. It's not even close.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #burglars & robbers, #frustration, #lab, #stealing back cables, #worse problem, #boss, #adds fuel to fire

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Dilbert: Every time I leave the lab, some jerk steals my cables and replaces them with their bad ones. Then I have to spend hours stealing back one cable at a time and testing each one. Boss: Doesn't that make you one of the cable-stealing jerks? Dilbert: You've never met a problem you couldn't worsen.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avarice, #executives, #products decline, #amrketing, #improving, #huge raises, #money

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Boss: Our products are getting worse every day. But our marketing keeps improving. We're very close to the point where our customers will give us money for no reason. Then we can give ourselves huge raises and do no work at all. CEO: I like everything you said, except the "we" part.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #app development, #forced labor camp, #frustration, #private offuce, #work ethic

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Dilbert: The North Elbonians accused me of being a spy and put me in a forced labor camp. It sounds worse than it was. I had a private office and all I did was app development. Boss: How did you escape? Dilbert: I didn't. I took a personal day to tell you how much you suck.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office buildings, #cubicle workplace, #open floor plan, #research, #pattern, #randomize evil, #science

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Boss: We're thinking of moving from a cubicle workplace to an open floor plan. Dilbert: Is that because you did some research that discovered that the open floor plan is the only thing worse than what we have now? Boss: They figured out the pattern. Catbert: I told you we should randomize our evil!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #engineers, #middleman, #worse case scenario, #business

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CEO: One of your engineers came to me with a suggestion. Boss: Gasp! CEO: The only reason I have middle managers is so this never happens. Dilbert: Hey, buddy. What are we talking about? CEO: Gaaa!!! Worst case scenario!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #complaining, #performance review, #nice leadership, #pile of cake, #lack confidence

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Performance Review Boss: Tina, you lack confidence. Tina: That's because you keep criticizing me! Nice leadership, you perspiring pile of pound cake! Was that better or worse? I can't tell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile driving, #company car, #crazy, #data center, #directions, #gadgets, #gps directions, #gps navigation system

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Boss: Take a company car and meet a customer at our data center on Montgomery and Pine. Dilbert: I can't drive to an unfamiliar place with Alice. She'll spend the entire trip arguing with the GPS navigation system. Boss: No one does that. Dilbert: Allow me to demonstrate. My phone says we should take this route. Alice: What?! Is it crazy? We are not taking 880! Change your mind! Change your mind! Change your mind! Dilbert: It gets worse. Alice: If you listen to this liar, I will end you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #twins, #branding, #meeting, #discussion, #brad, #brendan, #identical, #triplets, #business

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The Boss: This is Brendan and Brandon. They'll be helping us with our ranking. Alice: Im sorry, but I can't get past the ridiculousness of it all, Im out. The Boss: Do you get this a lot? Brendan & Brandon: Its worse when we bring Brad.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #ideas, #wine, #liquid lunch, #tweet, #down trodden, #sense of humor, #twitter, #cell phone, #office, #technology

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BAD IDEA Boss: I should drink wine at lunch more often. WORSE IDEA I'm in the mood to tweet. WORST IDEA I hope the down-trodden have a sense of humor.