Coworker Comic Strips - Page 3
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239 Results for Coworker
View 21 - 30 results for coworker comic strips. Discover the best "Coworker" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 27,
2015
Do Not Attack Me
Tags conflict, paranoia, self-fulfilling prophesy
Transcript
Dilbert: Are the estimates current? Coworker: Why are you attacking me? Dilbert: I feel like attacking you now. Coworker: I knew it!
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday March 09,
2015
Wally Will Work When He Is Dead
Tags death, strategy, work ethic, work, philosophy, perfect system, medical
Transcript
Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.
Tuesday February 10,
2015
Elon Musk Fears Ai
Tags artificial intelligence, etiquette & ethics, misanthropy, technology, elon musk, artificial intelligemce, humankind
Transcript
Asok: Elon Musk is worried that artificial intelligence will destroy mankind. Coworker: Why would you pay attention to him? What's he ever done? Asok: Stop making root for A.I. Coworker: And what planet is this "Elon" guy from, anyway?
Saturday February 07,
2015
Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work
Tags etiquette & ethics, marketing, robot, robotics, slave, technology, emotionally manipulate, marketing leagl, enslave humans, business
Transcript
Coworker: Sales are up 900% since we programmed our robots to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Dilbert: Um, you do know marketing is only legal because it doesn't work most of the time, right? Coworker; Nope. I do not know that. Shiny! Dilbert: We invented a technology to enslave homo sapiens?
Saturday January 24,
2015
The One Out Of Ten Guy
Tags bad logic, knowledge, logic, statistics, studies, problem, department
Transcript
Coworker: You know how studies always say one out of ten people have a particular problem. I'm always that guy. Statistically speaking, I keep nine people safe just by existing. Dilbert: That's not how statistics work. Coworker: And... everyone else in the department knows that?
Wednesday January 14,
2015
Get Off Wally's Back!
Sunday December 21,
2014
Tags anger, criticism, perfection, psychological disorder, psychological evaluation, perfectionist, warning, not a problem, cognitive dissonance, unrealistic optimism, projection bias, jerk, anger issues
Transcript
Coworker: I should warn you that I'm a perfectionist. Dilbert: I appreciate the warning. Do you have any other psychological problems or just the one? Coworker: I don't think of it as a "problem." Dilbert: I guess that's what makes it so bad. I see a lot of other psychological problems in your writing. Cognitive dissonance, unrealistic optimism, and some projection bias. But I can see why you think your perfectionism is the worst part. Coworker: You're a jerk. Dilbert: ...and here come the anger issues.
Friday December 12,
2014
Wally's Analysis Is No Longer Needed
Tags work ethic, analysis, work, gibberish, separate issue, secretary, offcie, cubicle, science
Transcript
Wally: Here's the analysis you asked me to do. Coworker: Oops. I forgot to tell you, I don't need this anymore. Wally: What? I did all of that work for nothing? Coworker: Wait... this is nothing but... gibberish. Wally: That is a separate issue.
Friday November 28,
2014
How You Should Have Engineered It
Tags criticism, engineering, pessimism
Transcript
Dilbert: Let's skip to the part where I tell you how you should have engineered it instead of whatever you did. Coworker: You don't know what I did. Dilbert: I have five minutes to pretend that matters. Coworker: That's all I need.
Wednesday November 12,
2014
We Will Never Forget Ted
Tags coworker, coworkers, death, tributes, morning, beloved collegue, never forget, medical
Transcript
Boss: We mourn the untimely passing of our beloved colleague, Fred. We will never forget him. Dilbert: It was Ted, not Fred. Boss: Was he beloved? Wally: I don't remember. It was like a week ago.


