Crawl Space Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for crawl space comic strips. Discover the best "Crawl Space" comics from Dilbert.com.

Meetings Are Dense

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Meetings Are Dense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, time, perception, joke, insult, stupid, obliviousness

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Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality, type, introvert, dominant, submissive, interpersonal, relationship, coworkers, conflict, argument, competent, magic, psychology

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Coworker: The reason we keep having conflicts is because of our personality types. You're an impulsive, dominant personality and I am more of a... Alice: Useless waste of space? Coworker: I was going to say I'm a reserved, introspective, people-pleaser. One personality type is not better than the another. We just see things differently. Alice: How do you explain the fact that I have never had a conflict with anyone who is competent. Coworker: Give me a minute to reflect on that. Alice: Let me know when you're done believing in magic.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), Men, alpha dominence, space, room space, topper, puffer fish, barely male, glad, inflate body

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Dilbert: Studies say I can increase my alpha dominance by using lots of space in the room. Topper: That's nothing. I can inflate my body like a puffer fish! Carol: At times like this, you must be glad you're barely male. Topper

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), inventions, space flight, elon musk, space hsips, electric cars, electric rocket, robots, colonize, planet, power cord

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CEO: I want to be more visionary than Elon Musk. All he does is build spaceships and electric cars. I want you to build me an electric rocket ship full of robots that can colonize other worlds. Which planet should we do first? Dilbert: Depends how long the power cord is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, inventions, space flight, experiment, reality, computer program, created by aliens, science

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Dilbert: My experiment proves our reality is a computer program created by aliens. What kind of jerks would yank us around like this? Alien Dilbert: Well, that was gonna happen... Meanwhile on Planet Epsilon-9...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags death & dying, internet & world wide web, extreme sports, basejump, space station, machine learning, inetrnational

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Computer: Based on your internet history, you might be dumb enough to enjoy extreme sports. Click here to buy a ticket to base jump from the International Space Station. Boss: I think the internet is trying to kill me. Dilbert: We call it "machine learning."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags poor persons, rich people, homely, middle class, capitalism

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CEO: I don't know how to say this delicately so I'll just say it. Looking at your homely, middle-class face makes my skin crawl. Never speak directly to me again. Sometimes I think they don't understand capitalism.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags death & dying, funerals, ashes, cremation, scattered, outer space, elbonian general, intercontinental missile, burden on living

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Dilbert: When I die, I want my ashes scattered in outer space. Dogbert: Cool! I'll bribe an Elbonian general to strap you to their intercontinental missile when we test it next week. Dilbert: It's better if the dying and the ash scattering are separate events. Dogbert: Don't be a burden on the living.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, space elevator, prototype, roof, pipe, close call, edge of building

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Wally: I finished the space elevator prototype. Boss: So soon? I thought it would take years? Wally: It's just a prototype. Do you want to try it. Boss: Sure.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cloud, email, internet speak, lingo, meetings, pretending, text, understanding technology, wi fi, skype

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Boss: Did you get the email I texted to you? Co-worker: What? That doesn't even make sense. What the heck is wrong with you? Dilbert: Let it go. He slips in and out of understanding basic technology. Boss: Do we have enough room in the cloud for Skype? Because if we don't, we can store some files on the wi-fi. Dilbert: I got this. We have plenty of space because we upgraded to a cumulonimbus cloud. Boss: Very good. Moving on.