Create A Missle Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

115 Results for Create A Missle

View 21 - 30 results for create a missle comic strips. Discover the best "Create A Missle" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bossbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bossbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #robot, #replicant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I used a 3-D printer and a scan of your brain to create Bossbot. It doesn't pass the Turing test, but neither do you. Bossbot: What's the Turing test? Dilbert: Doesn't really matter. Boss: Yeah, what's the Turing test?

Dilbert Characters

Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economist, #Promotion, #jargon, #babble, #deception, #smart people, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO wants to promote you to Chief Economist because nothing you say makes sense. He thinks that's the sign of a great economist. Wally: It totally is. Boss: Say something smart. Wally: Whoa! I don't want to create an oversupply of wisdom.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #job, #laziness, #strategic thinker, #strategy, #work ethic, #worker bee, #attend meetings, #strategic, #no work, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Can I create my own job? I hear people do that. They figure out what they are good at and then they create a job around it. I'm more of a strategic thinker than a worker bee. My job could be to attend meetings and say strategic things. And, of course, I would have no time to respond to email because I'd be busy being strategic. Boss: It feels as if you want a job that doesn't involve work. Wally: Would you trust a strategic thinker who can't solve his own problems?

The Illusion Of Leadership

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Illusion Of Leadership - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #absent mindedness, #Advice, #forget, #forgetfulness, #jargon, #leadership, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I forget why I walked over here. Dilbert: Were you planning to spew empty jargon in my direction to create the illusion of leadership? Boss: Oh, right. But now it feels as if the moment has passed.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coaching, #deception, #laziness, #mentor, #mentoring, #strategy, #work ethic, #taper, #key to winning, #new job, #long hours, #good first impression, #taker off, #working smarter

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Asok, the key to winning at your job is the taper. Asok: Taper? Wally: At the start of any new job, you want to put in long hours and create a good first impression. Then you should start to gradually taper off your effort. But be sure you taper slowly. You don't want to be obvious. Boss: Wally, is it my imagination, or are you working slightly less every day? Wally: It only looks that way because I'm working smarter, not harder. Just the way you taught me. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Wally: Always keep that round in the chamber. Asok: You scare me, but in a good way.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #create itself, #execute, #executives, #obliviousness, #strategy, #succeed, #meeting, #emplyees, #discussion, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We can only succeed if we execute. Wally: How is that different from saying we can only succeed if we succeed. CEO: There's also the strategy. Wally: Does the strategy create itself?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #artificial intelligence, #as smart, #lunchtime, #fast worker

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to create artificial intelligence that is as smart as me. Dilbert: Okay. I should have that by lunchtime. Boss: Because you're a fast worker? Dilbert: Sure.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #deception, #new business strategy, #laptop, #coffee shop, #public access, #wifi, #hackers, #strategy document, #sell secrets, #competitors, #business strategy, #break in

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Wally, I want you to create a new business strategy for the company. Then use your laptop in a coffee shop that has public access to wi-fi. Hackers will get into your computer in minutes and steal your strategy document. With any luck, the hackers will sell those secrets to our competitors. Obviously, we would never use any strategy you created, so our competitors will be misled. Wally: So... you want me to do a bad job on an assignment and then go drink coffee? Boss: Can you handle that? Wally: I like my odds. Dilbert: Why do you want a copy of our business strategy? Wally: It'll save a step.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #movies, #clever video, #create video, #internet, #go viral, #marketing experts, #engineer, #more passion, #loser attitude, #viral video, #Entertainment, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to create a clever video about our product for the Internet. But make sure it goes viral or you're a total failure. Dilbert: No one can predict what goes viral. Marketing experts fail at this sort of thing 99% of the time. I'm an engineer with no relevant skills for this assignment. Boss: Maybe you could succeed if you had more passion. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I need a rational boss, not passion! Boss: That's sort of a loser attitude. Asok: Hey, my video is going viral!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #ignorance (knowledge), #futurists, #know how, #create entire universe, #brown bag lunches, #slurp

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Futurists say that someday humans will have the know-how to create an entire universe. Boss: Where would they put it? Alice: We should do these brown bag lunches less often.