Cruelty Comic Strips - Page 3

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62 Results for Cruelty

View 21 - 30 results for cruelty comic strips. Discover the best "Cruelty" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, temporary credentials, webservices, ritual shaming, engineer, public shaming, poison the well, credibility, healthy place, engineering

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Dilbert: Can you show me how to set up temporary credentials for our web services? Alice: Only if you are prepared for your ritual shaming. Dilbert: Yes, always. Alice: Okay, here it goes. What kind of engineer doesn't know how to set up temporary credentials? Ha ha ha ha! I will tell this story for years! Hey, everyone! Guess what Dilbert doesn't know! That should be enough to poison your well of credibility. Dilbert: This isn't a healthy place. Alice: Then why do I feel so alive?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, cruelty, executives, joking, self deprecating joke, tasks, underling

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CEO: Hello, underling. Watch me do a self-deprecating joke to underscore my true power. Ho ho! I am not good at some types of unimportant tasks! Ha ha! That's why I'm glad I have people like you to do those things. Dilbert: Impressive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, writing, incompressible note, flermmed th eplootash, communication, boss, emplyee

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Dilbert: I got the incomprehensible not you left on my desk. I wanted to let you know that I "flermmed the plootash" just as you asked. Boss: What makes you this way? Dilbert: Maybe my DNA is flermmed

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, cruelty, thinking, thought diversity, meeting, fad, business

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Boss: I'm looking for thought diversity in my hiring. That's a thing now. Alice: Really? That's a dumb thing. All you end up with is a bunch of people who can't agree. How do you like thought diversity now? Dilbert: That fad didn't last long.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, negotiating, flexible, loser, good sport, good loser

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Alice: Thanks for being flexible in these negotiations. You're a good sport. And by good sport, I mean good loser. ANd by good loser, I mean loser. Man: Some people call it generous.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags biometric sensor, cruelty, electric shock, inventions, prototype, tasered, test animals, humans

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Dilbert: I added a biometric sensor to our smartphone prototype. ZZEEEP It uses x-rays. Boss: Maybe you should have tested it on animals first. Dilbert: Do I look like an animal hater?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, managers & supervisors, work ethic, employees work harder, caring managers, sausage casing, business

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Boss: According to studies, employees will work harder if they think their managers care about them. But that's hard for me because you're basically a sausage casing full of coffee and rotting organs. Dilbert: That must have stung. Wally: Less than you'd think.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, inventions, joking, meat bags, robot, capability, humor, learn humor

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Robot: Hey, meat-bags! I'm here to take your jobs! Ha ha! Not really. I won't have that capability for two or three years. Dilbert: When did you learn humor? Robot: Humor? I was going for cruelty.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, executives, mental health, psychopaths, grandiose sense, self worth, kill for asking

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Executive Coaching Dogbert; Research shows that CEOs are more likely to be psychopaths. Obviously, being a psychopath works. Don't let anyone tell you different. How's your grandiose sense of self-worth? CEO: It's the best. I should kill you for asking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, honesty, managers & supervisors, motivation, insincere, bar too high, low motivation, business

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Dilbert: My motivation is low today. I understand it's your job to fix that situation. An insincere attaboy or a fake interest in my life would be enough. Boss: Drop dead and let the flies eat you. Dilbert: I set the bar too high again.