Cruelty Comic Strips - Page 3
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62 Results for Cruelty
View 21 - 30 results for cruelty comic strips. Discover the best "Cruelty" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 09,
2014
Tags cruelty, temporary credentials, webservices, ritual shaming, engineer, public shaming, poison the well, credibility, healthy place, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Can you show me how to set up temporary credentials for our web services? Alice: Only if you are prepared for your ritual shaming. Dilbert: Yes, always. Alice: Okay, here it goes. What kind of engineer doesn't know how to set up temporary credentials? Ha ha ha ha! I will tell this story for years! Hey, everyone! Guess what Dilbert doesn't know! That should be enough to poison your well of credibility. Dilbert: This isn't a healthy place. Alice: Then why do I feel so alive?
Saturday January 11,
2014
Tags boss, cruelty, executives, joking, self deprecating joke, tasks, underling
Transcript
CEO: Hello, underling. Watch me do a self-deprecating joke to underscore my true power. Ho ho! I am not good at some types of unimportant tasks! Ha ha! That's why I'm glad I have people like you to do those things. Dilbert: Impressive.
Tuesday December 17,
2013
Tags cruelty, writing, incompressible note, flermmed th eplootash, communication, boss, emplyee
Transcript
Dilbert: I got the incomprehensible not you left on my desk. I wanted to let you know that I "flermmed the plootash" just as you asked. Boss: What makes you this way? Dilbert: Maybe my DNA is flermmed
Saturday November 30,
2013
Tags complaining, cruelty, thinking, thought diversity, meeting, fad, business
Transcript
Boss: I'm looking for thought diversity in my hiring. That's a thing now. Alice: Really? That's a dumb thing. All you end up with is a bunch of people who can't agree. How do you like thought diversity now? Dilbert: That fad didn't last long.
Monday November 18,
2013
Tags cruelty, negotiating, flexible, loser, good sport, good loser
Transcript
Alice: Thanks for being flexible in these negotiations. You're a good sport. And by good sport, I mean good loser. ANd by good loser, I mean loser. Man: Some people call it generous.
Monday November 11,
2013
Tags biometric sensor, cruelty, electric shock, inventions, prototype, tasered, test animals, humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I added a biometric sensor to our smartphone prototype. ZZEEEP It uses x-rays. Boss: Maybe you should have tested it on animals first. Dilbert: Do I look like an animal hater?
Monday October 28,
2013
Tags cruelty, managers & supervisors, work ethic, employees work harder, caring managers, sausage casing, business
Transcript
Boss: According to studies, employees will work harder if they think their managers care about them. But that's hard for me because you're basically a sausage casing full of coffee and rotting organs. Dilbert: That must have stung. Wally: Less than you'd think.
Thursday October 24,
2013
Tags cruelty, inventions, joking, meat bags, robot, capability, humor, learn humor
Transcript
Robot: Hey, meat-bags! I'm here to take your jobs! Ha ha! Not really. I won't have that capability for two or three years. Dilbert: When did you learn humor? Robot: Humor? I was going for cruelty.
Wednesday September 25,
2013
Tags cruelty, executives, mental health, psychopaths, grandiose sense, self worth, kill for asking
Transcript
Executive Coaching Dogbert; Research shows that CEOs are more likely to be psychopaths. Obviously, being a psychopath works. Don't let anyone tell you different. How's your grandiose sense of self-worth? CEO: It's the best. I should kill you for asking.
Tuesday August 20,
2013
Tags cruelty, honesty, managers & supervisors, motivation, insincere, bar too high, low motivation, business
Transcript
Dilbert: My motivation is low today. I understand it's your job to fix that situation. An insincere attaboy or a fake interest in my life would be enough. Boss: Drop dead and let the flies eat you. Dilbert: I set the bar too high again.


