Customer Service Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

320 Results for Customer Service

View 21 - 30 results for customer service comic strips. Discover the best "Customer Service" comics from Dilbert.com.

Small Managers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Small Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, computer software, engineering, frustration, office workers, sarcasm, clients

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I told a customer we would make a small change to the software for them. Dilbert: There are no small software changes, only small managers. Boss: Dang it! Why does that sound so wise!

Fly On Weekend

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fly On Weekend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, office workers, evil, cheap

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to do a customer site visit. Book your flight for the weekend so you don't miss any work. Dilbert: I'm impressed by your casual evil. Boss: Bring your own food.

Blockchain Versus Databases

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Blockchain Versus Databases  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, computers, office workers, questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And we can put the customer data on the blockchain. Alice: Why not use an immutable database instead? Dilbert: Which way should we go? Boss: Are either of them my favorite color?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, customer, meeting, engineers, years, disasters, worry, data, centers, blockchain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

Our Api

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Our Api - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hackers, hacking, api, jargon, obliviousness, language

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Reporter. Dogbert: How did hackers get access to your customer data? CEO: I'm told they used something called "our A.P.I." to suck out all the data. Dogbert: I'll just say you'er stupid. CEO: Why does everyone always say that?

Press Release About Hack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Press Release About Hack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hacker, hacking, information, privacy, damage control, apology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hackers got our customer data. Write a press release saying we are sorry and it will never happen again. Tina: Is any of that true? Boss: Part of it is. Tina: Which part. Boss: Hackers got our customer data.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer service, loyalty program, survey, frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Would you like to sign up for our customer loyalty program? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Man: If you don't we'll overcharge you on your purchases. But if you sign up, we will add a new level of complexity to your life that will make you hate us. Dilbert: I'll stick with the customer disloyalty program. Just overcharge me and I'll never come back. Man: You can get ten percent off your purchase today if you fill out an online customer survey and enter our store code. Dilbert: Please just overcharge me and let me leave! Man: I almost hesitate to ask which extended warranty option you want.

Ideal Customer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ideal Customer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags market research, sham, yes-man, demographics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My research shows that your ideal customer is a male Olympic athlete between the ages of 120 and 145. And just to be safe, you want that guy to not have a Yelp account. Boss: How many people are in that group? Dogbert: None, but my research will help you double that.

Boss Cancels Food Service

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Cancels Food Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lunch, Food, stealing, refrigerator, property, misunderstanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've decided to cancel our food service to save money. Dilbert: We don't have a food service. We all bring our own food and keep in the break room refrigerator. Boss: I've been eating the food in there for seven years. Dilbert: I'd keep that to myself if I were you.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer service, business strategy, sales, deception, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.