Cut Costs Comic Strips - Page 3

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201 Results for Cut Costs

View 21 - 30 results for cut costs comic strips. Discover the best "Cut Costs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Product Warning Is Too Long

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Product Warning Is Too Long - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technical writer, #instructions, #caution, #warning, #safety, #criticism

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Tina: My boss, who knows nothing about technical writing, told me to cut my 700-page product warning down to 500 pages. He doesn't appreciate my art. Dilbert: Sounds like both of you are idiots. Tina: This will go smoother if you stop talking.

500 Pages Would Be Rubbish

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500 Pages Would Be Rubbish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #writing, #criticism, #technical writer, #warning, #caution, #safety

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Boss: You need to edit the product warning from seven hundred pages down to one. Tina: Oh, that's rich. I'ma professional technical writer, and you're telling me how to write? Boss: Can you cut it down to 500 pages? Tina: Sure, if you want it to be total rubbish.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #job, #scope, #negotiating, #engineer, #demands, #failure, #stress, #business, #engineering

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Boss: We need to cut our budget. Go to all of our vendors and tell them to reduce their prices. Dilbert: Why would they do that for us? Boss: Tell them we'll buy from someone else unless they do. Dilbert: That's what we told them to get the prices we have now. I'm an engineer, not a professional negotiator. Your plan has failure designed into it. Your poor leadership already has me on the edge of madness. This could push me over the edge. Boss: And I need it done by Tuesday.

Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted

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Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #money, #cost, #fired, #layoff, #suggestion

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Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #financial, #jargon, #money, #accounting, #language

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Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.

Fit Bit Monitoring

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Fit Bit Monitoring - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #mothers, #mom, #surveillance, #spying, #nosy

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Dilmom: This is your mom. I've been monitoring your Fitbit and... whatever you're doing, cut it out. Dilbert: It was disturbing on many levels. Dogbert: "Mom Drone" behind you.

Do Not Talk To Ted

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Do Not Talk To Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #deception

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Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.

Dogbert The Negotiating Expert

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Dogbert The Negotiating Expert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #money, #negotiate, #negotiations, #racket, #guest artist, #josh shipley

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Boss: I hired an expert on negotiating to teach us a few things. He only costs a million dollars, and for that we get five minutes of his time. Let's get started. Dogbert: We're out of time, unless you want to renegotiate.

The Stem Gender Imbalance Explained

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The Stem Gender Imbalance Explained - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #gender, #Women, #technology, #equality, #gross, #repulsion

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Robot: Researchers discovered why women are under-represented in stem careers. It's this guy. Wally: I used to cut my toenails every week, now I just wear bigger shoes. Woman: I quit.

I Used To Have A Nemesis

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I Used To Have A Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #nemesis, #enemy, #logic, #self esteem, #anger, #hate

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Man: I used to have a nemesis. Bit I cut out the middle person and learned to hate myself. Dilbert: That's dumb. Man: I told you I don't need you!