Destroy Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

39 Results for Destroy

View 21 - 30 results for destroy comic strips. Discover the best "Destroy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags savings, ted, budget, project, fail, destroy, suggestion, help, pain, worse, hurt, mouth open, yell

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "You added the savings from my project to the budge for Ted's project." Alice says, "Ted is a serial failer. You've destroyed in advance any hope that I might do something useful." The Boss says, "Maybe you could help Ted on his project." Alice says, "Ow! Ow! Making it worse!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project manager, gene pool, kitchen, losing, foreboding, anguish, monitoring

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Ellen, your new project manager." The Boss says, "If you do a bad job, Ellen will be on you like a ton of bricks." Boss says, "And if you do a good job, she will be threatened by your success and make it her mission to destroy you." Dilbert says, "Wait...what?" Dilbert says, "Did you just tell me I'm going to lose no matter what I do?" Ellen says, "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen." Ellen says, "And by kitchen I mean the entire job market And the gene pool." "Dilbert says, "I have a bad feeling about this." Ellen says, "Your anguish nourishes me!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonian spies, stole lap top, confidentail data, virus, destroy morale, hope, business plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Elbonian spies stole my laptop and all of our confidential data." Dilbert says, "But don't worry, because I placed a virus in there that will destroy their morale and their hope." Dilbert says, "I believe you call it your 'business plan.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags security software, upgrade it, hackers, steal identity, bank accounts, destroy hard drive, cjoices

View Transcript

Transcript

DilMom "Your security software is out of date..." "Uh-oh." "Would you like to spend the rest of your natural life trying to figure out how to upgrade it?" "Erk!" "Or would you prefer to let hackers steal your identity, drain your bank accounts and destroy your hard drive?" "I need more choices!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags billion dollar line, design, ecstatic, massive design flaws, press release, proper incenives, stock options, underwater

View Transcript

Transcript

"I told our CEO that the design would be done in a month. He's ecstatic!" "That would be good except that I told you it won't be done for six months." "Ooh." "So, I guess you'll have to tell him." "It's too late." "He's already issued a press release. You'll have to finish the design in a month." "The only way to do it in a month is to accept massive design flaws that will destroy a billion dollar line of business." "That's okay. My stock options are so underwater that it won't make any difference." "I'll just blame all of the problems on the Chinese company that manufactures our products." "Ultimately, it's the CEO's fault for failing to give me proper incentives."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career day, container, cubicle, bleak oppressiveness, warp spine, feel joy, bochure, kids school

View Transcript

Transcript

Career Day "When you grow up you'll be put in a container called a cubicle." "The bleak oppressiveness will warp your spine and destroy your capacity to feel joy." "Luckily, you'll have a boss like me to motivate you with something called fear." "May I see a brochure?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags destroy refrigeration, crushed ice, annoying noise, cubilces, crunch

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: This might be the greatest innovation in annoying cubicle noises. "Chewing crushed ice." "Crunch crunch crunch." Alice: "Must.. destroy all refrigeration facilities... on earth."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags legal department, products, highly defective, user specification, ate letter, hugely defective prodcut

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our legal department advises us to destroy any documents that show we know our products are hugely defective." "CHOMP, CHOMP, CHOMP, CHEW, CHEW, GULP." Alice: "Do you have room in there for the user specifications?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accounting gimmicks, accounting records, destroy records, illegal, make confusing, stockholders

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "Stockholders are worried that our profits are nothing but accounting gimmicks." The Boss responds, "I'm putting you in charge of destroying all of our accounting records." Dilbert says, "That's illegal." The Boss responds, "Oh. Then just make them more confusing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags created software, copyrighted work, available, for free, plunge, depression, creativity, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern says to Dilbert, "I created software that makes all copyrighted work on the net available for free!" Dilbert asks Asok, "Wouldn't that destroy all forms of creativity and plunge us into a depression?" Asok says to Dilbert, "Yes... But it is very neat."